Archive for 2010

Eat, Pray, Love

Hey everyone!

I'm in Singapore at the moment and will be here for some time... just wanted to let my lovely anonymous readers know in case they missed me or wondered why I haven't posted! I hope you have! I do tend to post erratically as I'm sure you've gathered from the archive because I guess at times when I have too much on my mind I find it hard to write publicly.

Anywho I watched Eat, Pray, Love on the plane and I went into it thinking I was going to hate the movie and was just planning on watching it because the book has such a fan following. I loved the movie! I shall post more on it when I get the chance but for now... it's time to be with my family here in Singapore (read: eat... is it wrong that I'm in Singapore and all I want to eat right now is Mcdonalds?! lol omg I'm addicted). See you all later... eat, pray and love everyone :)

Why Do I Write?

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It’s been almost 2 years since my First Blog Post and I just thought I’d recap on why I write.  I write because I have to.  It’s a necessity for me, I am constantly writing no matter where I go, whether it’s tweeting/updating my status/writing blog topics and memo’s to myself on my phone, or while I’m at work writing in my notebook there about my thought processes, or at home on my blog or one of my personal diaries - - I have to write.  It makes me a little crazy though I must admit because when you think in your head your thoughts process so fast that you don’t even see it, it’s like boom boom boom.  However, when you write, you see your thought process flow out before you and when you see how your mind goes from one thing to another, and when you analyze yourself that much, you wander a little from the sane group.  It also makes me a little crazy because there’s so much of me that I have to use different diaries to cover different things or I’ll lose my mind.  One diary has my deepest darkest thoughts and feelings, one diary is more for fun so that I can exercise my mind and play with words, one is for brainstorming…etc etc.  Why can’t I have it all in one?…  It’s because I need to purge myself, I need to quickly rip out my dark side and then shut that book so I can focus on something else for a bit.  Imagine if I just had my blog as my one sole diary, imagine how traumatized yall would be reading it!?  Lol I’m doing yall a favour trust me!
I write for myself… I write to chronicle my life and so that when I look back one month, one year or one decade from now I can see who I was at that point of time.  Twitter for me is more a diary than anything else and same with Facebook statuses.  Yes I write to engage in conversation with the world but I’d say mainly its for me to look back on and see where I was and where I’ve come.
A diary entry of mine might simply be a list of songs on my playlist, or a header saying “Cozy” with a list of things that make me feel cosy and eventually it forms into a psychoanalysis of myself.  So as I said though, I do write for myself, these blog posts - -I love that people can read them, that even one person may have smiled at a post of mine or felt any kind of emotion at something that I wrote; it’s an amazing feeling and it’s a reason why I share my posts to the world, but I also feel exposed.  I feel exposed because my posts are ME, they’re not generic posts on fashion or Bollywood or technology like most blogs are, they’re posts about ME and my thoughts and beliefs.  I feel like people who read this blog in its entirety will walk away knowing a fair slice of me (not a whole lot mind you but a good glimpse) and it’s scary to open yourself to judgement in that way.  I am glad that I didn’t center my blog around a certain theme though this is my blog and I write about anything and everything I want…why restrict myself?

Ho ho ho

Living well is the best revenge.
The funny thing is I actually shed tears over the loss of our friendship, over the pain of your betrayal.  What’s that you say?  You say I’m a fool?  No ho, I’m just a decent person.
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Eva Longoria & Tony Parker ---- OVER

“The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin” – Ogden Nash

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This is probably not how you expected this to open but: Remember how everyone used to go gaga for Jessica Alba?  I was never that into her…sure Jessica was hot but she was always so BLAND at the same time.  What’s her personality?  Can she crack a joke?  Have I ever seen her make an ugly face and still look pretty?  Jessica Alba is vanilla.  Kim Kardashian is HOT HOT HOT yeah (body wise) but that’s pretty much all she is… the ENTIRE PACKAGE WINNING HOTTEST CHICK AWARD has always gone to Eva Longoria Parker.  That little lady is 5ft 2 inches of straight dynamite. 

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Kim has always been hot, no question but Eva is hot AND CUTE!

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BAM.  Dynamite.  Need I say more?  Ok so her hotness.. undeniable.  Now the big question on everyone’s lips is: Why would any guy cheat (cheat= emotionally for sure/physically maybe whatever) on someone like…this:

Eva Longoria (Crystal Collection)

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For THIS!?!?……………

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It’s because THISerin-barry-4 was not Tony’s wife.  Simple as that.  If Tony had married Erin Barry (she’s pretty fine too), he would have cheated on her with someone like Eva.. (if Eva was a lady of easy virtue).  It’s sad yeah for sure, but I find it so funny that people are like “wow Tony is such an idiot because Eva is so hot”.  Come on people, it doesn’t matter if Eva is hot, or if Eva has the best personality ever, or if Eva is a freaking goddess from heaven.  Forbidden fruit is always more alluring.  I think it has everything to do with his own timing and his own personal growth.  I don’t believe that it has anything to do with love or that if he truly loved Eva he wouldn’t have done it and that they weren’t meant to be.  Timing is everything.

I’m starting to think that it’s not natural for humans to be monogamous.  In some way or another, whether it be through sexting or just plain sexing; I just don’t believe humans are monogamous by nature. Maybe some of you always knew this but I honestly believed that we were, that one man and one woman could be faithful to each other.  My mindset has completely changed.  That’s not to say that there aren’t relationships out there that have been and will continue to be monogamous for life (who are you and tell me your story!); all I’m saying is that it just might not be in our natural instincts and is a struggle.  Sexual monogamy is having one sexual partner for life, forever!  For example, a goose will not mate with anyone else, even if their partner dies.  That is just not natural for humans!  You and I both know that.  Just because I’m saying this does not mean that I DON’T want a monogamous relationship.  I DO!  I wouldn’t be able to live with someone who had 100’s of text msgs sent to another woman while lying to me and not texting me, emotionally cheating on me with someone else, or having intercourse with another woman.  Yea… couldn’t live with that.  Team Eva.

Why do people cheat?  It’s all economics.  Costs… benefits… A male would rather look at your boobs and be caught checking them out than NOT looking and NOT seeing anything!  I don’t believe that humans honestly think of the costs.  Was it worth it?  Was it really worth it…throwing away 3 years of marriage?  Jesse James cheated on Sandra Bullock… he cried on tv, said he was sorry and then moved on with his life.  Tiger… moved on.  Tony… will move on.  I just don’t think guys really care.  100% Tony isn’t sitting there regretting that he carried on the affair… he’s sitting there thinking “Why the eff didn’t I delete those messages!?” haha.

Maybe Eva and Tony weren’t meant to be and it was fate, and maybe they will be happier forever with other people and they’ll look back ten years later and be grateful that this happened because now they’ve found their “true love”… or maybe it has nothing to do with other people and everything to do with their own selves and their own personal growth and their own timing.  Maybe people would be happier if they weren’t told how their lives were supposed to be: married to someone of the opposite sex, have children, live together forever, white picket fence, etc etc.  One thing is certain though, tradition survives for a reason and hopefully one day I’ll find out why and I can come on this blog and say hey…marriage is awesome and here is why you should get married.  Omg that is SUCH A SCARY THOUGHT.  I’m going now.. bye!!!!!!!!!!!

Previous post

Ok that was way too much negativity for one post.  I’m drained.

RANT

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I can’t stand…

Hypocrites and liars.  Those are my two least fav types of people.

People who double dip, it grosses me out!  It’s so rude and disgusting and I feel like puking.  I’m sorry but I don’t want your slimy little germs on my tasty little taste buds. 

When people say: “You’re so pretty, wow you don’t even look Indian”.. I mean what am I supposed to say in response?  Thank you?????  Is that supposed to be a freaking compliment that I don’t look like my race?? Cause my race is so freaking ugly?  Screw you!  I look Indian, this is what Indian people look like and I’m proud to look Indian! 

I get so irritated when people ask me how much the product is plus tax.  You see the price tag, you know how much our government’s tax percentage is, why the eff are you asking me?  Do I look like a calculator?  OR like someone who's good at math?  No and no.

Girls who scream when they see each other.  Or girls who swear a lot.  I can’t stand girls who sit on their boyfriend’s lap on the Skytrain unless they’re in a big group of friends..for some reason then it’s fine.  Girls who post stupid comments on boys walls just to show everyone that they hung out/are super tight (ex: “your bed is so comfy!”).  Please, save such comments for text msgs not facebook walls.

I can’t stand Priyanka Chopra she is so hot but so irritatingly focused on being/looking hot it annoys me.  Watching her movies is like watching a Nivea ad.  Can’t stand Katrina Kaif either now that I think about it but at least she looks cute.

People who say on the phone “I’ll let you get back to what you were doing”… if YOU want to go, then GO!  If I want to go, I’ll say so!  Don’t “Let” me do anything, I’ll do whatever I want!

Racist people.  Racist jokes.  Sexist people.  Sexist jokes.  I don’t find them funny!  Also while we’re on the topic, don’t say the N word!

People who assume that just because you live at home you have things easy/have no bills etc.

People who constantly ask me why I have my name/watermark on my pictures.  For the record, it’s because I’m cool.

People who assume they know everything about me.  You know diddly squat buddy ol pal!

People who comment on my clothes and say things like “Wow you must have so much time in the morning”, um no actually it doesn’t take me long to look this good ;)  (not like I’m even this crazy dresser anyways?  I usually rock jeans and a t shirt) On that note, I hate passive aggressive people!

People who state the obvious: “You’re not wearing makeup today!”.. “Your ears are so big!”… etc etc.  Sniff, I’m just sensitive about my ears ok leave them alone they work perfectly fine until they have to hear your annoying voice screech.

Illiterate people.  Go read a book!

Judgemental people.  Example:  “OMG look at that slut over there look at what she’s wearing”… whoa whoa whoa hold your horses! Just because she dresses like a ho... doesn’t mean she’s a ho???  She just likes to look like one (lol jk).  Don’t call girls sluts!  Go watch a hindi movie…girls are goddesses and you’re just jealous she can rock it and you can’t, and that you care what people think and she doesn’t! 

Happily married couples.  I’m jealous of you :(

People who constantly drop names and dollars into their conversations.

People who talk about money.. it freaks me out.  I don’t want to know how much your house costs, how much you can sell it for, how much your jacket costs, how much dinner was… I just don’t think it’s tasteful.

Ok that’s all for now.. Part Two some other time.

Room drama

This is what’s been going on: my parents and I have been in a major stalemate since before the summer.
Yes I know, it’s disgusting, yes I know I should clean it but I swear ITS NOT MY FAULT.  Ok it is but I don’t know WHERE TO START.  Debbie Travis can you help me PLEASE?  So.. basically… I cleaned my room in the summer!  It was beautiful I swear!  I was finally going to paint it white and stain my furniture black and put Marilyn Monroe pictures everywhere and have this whole old Hollywood theme going on…until my dresser broke.  And then my CLOSET broke.  My accessories ended up going on the floor, my clothes ended up beside my bed on their hangers and then I just gave up and every time I put something on or took it off I just chucked it.  I mean what was the point my room is broken where would I put anything anyways?  K so then my parents started yelling at me like crazy and I’ve just been super duper busy with life in general and when I finally have some free time I want to chill not clean my room.  All I heard all summer was: “find a dresser, buy a dresser, you need furniture, pick one and we’ll get it for you”.  I didn’t have TIME TO FIND A DRESSER OR FURNITURE AND BESIDES.. FURNITURE SHOPPING IS THE. MOST. BORING. AND. BIGGEST. WASTE. OF. TIME. EVER.  Plus I didn’t WANT new furniture I wanted old furniture that I could mess around with.  Stalemate.  Then I told them fine, you buy whatever you want, I don’t care anymore I don’t want to see it or think about it I’m sick of being yelled at.  I thought I dusted my hands off the whole thing.  NOW WEEKS later my parents have finally ordered furniture and it’s coming tomorrow!  And they want me to clean my room BEFORE it comes so that there is space for my furniture. 
Meaning.. all the stuff I’ve been chucking everywhere has to be put back on hangers and washed and etc etc etc.  I have to clean my room.  I’m going to cry.. I don’t know where to start!  I can’t yell at my parents anymore saying “well you still haven’t bought me a dresser obviously my room is going to be a mess” because they’ve BOUGHT ME THE DRESSER.  No more excuses.  The war ends today!  What colour was my carpet again?? :P

Outsourced Rant

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I decided to catch the pilot episode of NBC’s latest show, “Outsourced”.  I had heard a lot about this show and was hoping to watch a show that wasn’t some random American’s interpretation of everything India was, but I was wrong.  It was.  Do American’s honestly believe that this is how India is?  That they know nothing about American culture?  Do American’s think that all Indians sound like Apu from the Simpsons?
It was so frustrating to watch this show.  Yes our food is spicy, yes a lot of India follows the caste system although it was legally outlawed, yes there are such things as arranged marriages and cows are allowed to roam the streets.. get over it!  Why does it have to be this huge “OMG” moment that HAS to be commented on?  Why couldn’t the writers for this show just have a cow in the background for authenticity rather than making it a “moment” on the show that they have to exclaim over?  I mean at the very least get the Indian accents right!  The actors themselves can’t seem to finalize their character’s accents!  Some start off with pronouncing their R’s as if they were born in England and then midway through their sentence they say a hard R as if they’re Apu again.  Clearly nobody actually studied an accent from someone who went to a British convent school in India, or just any middle class Indian families’ accent, nor did they seem to do any research at all other than maybe watching a few movies like American Desi or Where’s the Party Yaar? Honestly, I could have written the script for this episode in gr.7.  It was that bad.  I’m just so sick of the stereotypes; the goofy/cute American, the silent ,angry Sikh… ok I’m watching episode 2 right now I really, really cannot stand their accents.  They can’t keep them straight?!  What kind of actors are these?  I bet by the third episode they’re all going to speak in a pure American accent.
In short there are two good things about this show, one being thatt I get to see “my people” on tv and the other is the BOLLYWOOD SOUNDTRACK BABYYYY.  I hope this show turns it around in the next couple of episodes because I do want to see it survive it just needs more meat.  No pun intended.

Love The Way You Lie

Like every other girl out there, I’m a little obsessed with this song.  However, I have no clue why other girls are so in love with it.  Do they relate to it?  Do they just like the beat?  Do they like to picture themselves as the tragic heroine?  I like this song, I relate to it, but I think it popularizes domestic violence.
I first heard this song on the Hills and thought it had a good beat.  I liked Rihanna’s part a lot initially but the more I listen to it the more I feel that Eminem definitely steals the show, plus it has enough swearing in it to soothe my anger problems while I’m driving and the song is on blast with the wind blowing in my hair.  Mucho enjoyment.
The phrase Rihanna sings haunted me... love the way you lie..  How can you love the way someone lies?  Then it hit me, it’s completely true.  It might sound weird but essentially, people lie because they care about you and because they don’t want to hurt you!  Does the truth really benefit you?  It might, it might not.  Knowing the truth sometimes doesn’t give you any more power than just accepting circumstances without knowing the reasons behind it and being able to continue regardless.  Does it matter how Tutankhamen died?  In the end, he’s dead and that’s all there really is to it.  (Ok, that was kind of random but you know what I mean!).   Sometimes things happen and you just have to deal with it.  Maybe one day you will find out the truth, but more often than not I feel that sometimes the truth is better left unknown.  People who lie to you are lying because they are not strong enough to speak the truth, but in the end, they do not wish to hurt you.  People who are being lied to often sense that they’re being lied to deep down but because they’re afraid to face the truth, they eat the lies. Being lied to is like hoping; you hope that what they say is true or could be and that’s why people love it when they are lied to, deep down.  Most people love to live a lie and deny the truth.  Hey, I’m not saying those are healthy people or relationships by any means but as long as people are happy, that’s all that really matters.  So, lets just say, I get what Rihanna means when she says “I love the way you lie”.
What I HATE about this song however, is that I feel that it glamorizes and popularizes domestic violence, rather than just bringing awareness to this serious issue.  I feel that little kids who watch Megan Fox and whoever that dude is (?) thrash it out will get the impression that this is a normal thing for grownups to do in grownup relationships.  It actually even looks SEXY and if I were a kid I’d probably expect it to happen to me at least once in my life in the future.  Contrasted to when I was growing up; I never expected anything like what happens in this music video to happen to me.  The only time I heard about domestic violence or people hitting each other was when I saw it happen in families with lower social and economic status on tv.  You knew it wasn’t something that would happen to YOU PERSONALLY!  I feel like people will look at this song and when violence happens to them, they will think that it’s normal, that it happens to normal people and they will sit there and accept it.  That is the problem.  This is not normal, you should not accept it, you should be shocked and horrified if this ever happened to you, and you should seek help.  It’s scary, and it’s serious.  What if on every show on tv there was domestic violence between the couples on the show?  What if Doug hit Carrie on the King of Queens every time she pissed him off, or the other way around… what if Ross and Rachel were always shown hitting each other and then kissing passionately on Friends?  Do you not think that this would become more of a norm for people?  Do you feel that more physical abuse would seep into relationships?  Or do you think that you would never do that, never hit a girl, never hit your man?  There is no grey area, you can’t say “hey I just threw something at her/him, I didn’t actually hit her/him”, if it is an act of violence, it is wrong.  All I’m saying is, that when a song like this with popular artists and glamorous a-list movie stars in the music video depict abuse, they don’t bring awareness to this social issue, they simply glamorize it and make it more of a cultural norm, and I am against that.  It was such a huge deal when MTV showed the teaser of Snooki getting punched on Jersey Shore (although they didn’t air it in the episode) because of this EXACT REASON.  POPULARIZING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.  ‘Tis a no no.  Let me know your thoughts on this issue :)

dvposterThe real faces of domestic violence:
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Stop Trippin’

“They Say I'm Different
They Don't Understand
But There's A Bigger Problem
That's Much More In Demand
You Got World Hunger
Not Enough To Eat
So There's Really No Time
To Be Trippin' On Me”
- Michael Jackson

 

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Final Season of The Hills!

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I used to love watching this show.  Hearing Lauren Conrad’s voice.. the song in the beginning, the palm trees, the Hollywood sign..what’s not to love?  It was so cool to see these girls living a life that many girls including myself would want to live.  Lauren came from a well off family, was going to fashion school, working for Teen Vogue, partying, living in a big city, was pursuing her dream, and had cute boys as friends and even cuter clothes…it was the dream life.  She was likeable, relatable, she cared about her friends, she was down to earth, she made mistakes (yes, she will always be remembered as the girl who didn’t go to Paris) and she was losing her friend to a smarmy guy and couldn’t do anything about it.  It was electrifying television I tell you.  It was a show full of promises, it was youthful, and it was fresh.  As I sat down to watch the first episode of the final season the other day, I felt sick watching it.. where did it all go so wrong?
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Why did I feel sick?  It kind of reminds me of this poem from the beginning of one of the best books ever: The Valley of the Dolls
You've got to climb to the top of Mount Everest
to reach the Valley of the Dolls.
It's a brutal climb to reach that peak,
which so few have seen.
You never knew what was really up there,
but the last thing you expected to find
was the Valley of the Dolls.
You stand there, waiting for
the rush of exhilaration
you thought you'd feel - but
it doesn't come.
You're too far away to hear the applause
and take your bows.
And there's no place left to climb.
You're alone, and
the feeling of loneliness is overpowering.
The air is so thin you can scarcely breathe.
You've made it - and the world says
you're a hero.
But it was more fun at the bottom
when you started,
with nothing more than hope and
the dream of fulfillment.
All you saw was the top of that mountain -
there was no one to tell you
about the Valley of the DOlls.
But it's different
when you reach the summit.
The elements have left you battered,
deafened, sightless - and too weary
to enjoy your victory.
- Jacqueline Susann, Valley of the Dolls
I felt sick watching it because of Heidi Montag.  She started off as a sweet girl, full of spunk and brimming with confidence.  She looked fresh faced and cute… Now, she’s a completely different person!  The allure of fame and living in LA has ruined her.  How is it good television to see someone fall apart?  I’ll admit it’s morbidly fascinating, and while that may help ratings, it leaves one with a bitter aftertaste in their mouth and that’s not good.  I just kept shaking my head in sadness and pity when I saw Heidi and her mom having their conversation in Heidi’s hometown.  I feel so bad for Heidi’s mom it’s crazy.  I can’t imagine how she feels, to see her daughter change so rapidly over just a few years and morph into someone who has succumbed to the pressures of living in LA.  It’s a horror story.  The Hills is supposed to resemble a fairy tale, not a horror story!  It’s become something that I would imagine a parent would show a child if the child said they want to become famous.  “Do you want to turn out like Heidi Montag?  Look what happened to her…it’s an evil world out there kiddo”
The episode really made me sick, Heidi’s plastic surgery nightmare, seeing her mom’s pain and sadness (I DO NOTTT WANT TO SEE A MOMMY CRYING ON TV! IT’S JUST TOO SAD!), watching Kristen do shot after shot, drug abuse accusations… it was too much I was cringing the whole way through the show.  I think to have fame and to go for a dream and enter a world that is cut throat, you need to be strong, level headed and grounded or you’ll just get chewed up and spit out.  Heidi got screwed and it truly is sad to watch.  The show used to have a point, it was about a girl pursuing her dream.  There is no point to the show anymore other than to watch all their lives derail. 

Hahahahahahaha

So my doctor had prescribed me these pills… and I just decided to read up on them 2.5 months into taking them…

Here are some of the things I laughed at:

  • Anxiety or restlessness:
    • An increase in daytime anxiety or restlessness has been observed during treatment.
  • Bad taste in mouth:
    • May cause you to have a coated tongue, bad breath, or a bitter taste in your mouth. These effects often occur when this medication is being used.
  • Behaviour changes:
    • This medication may worsen symptoms of depression, including thoughts of suicide or wanting to harm others. It may also cause agitated or aggressive behaviour. If you experience these symptoms or any other behaviour change while taking this medication, contact your doctor immediately. Family members or caregivers of people who are taking this medication should contact the person's doctor immediately if they notice unusual behaviour changes.
  • Performing activities while not fully awake:
    • People taking this may perform activities such as sleepwalking, driving, preparing and eating food, and making phone calls while not fully awake and unaware of their actions. The next morning, they may not remember what happened.  If you discover this has happened to you, contact your doctor immediately.

 

I swear to God I didn’t just make that up lol.  Wow.  Thanks doctors and pharmacists for not telling me any of this!  It was sooo not on the sheet that I was given but man I got a laugh out of this.  Haha sooo bang on.  Hahahhaha.

Fear

It’s really scary.

Say my name, say my name.. you acting kinda shady, ain’t calling me baby.. why the sudden change?

Destiny Child’s hit single..Say my name.  What’s in a name???????  Saying someone’s name when you are greeting the person, is normal.  Saying someone’s name while you are in conversation with them, or after you’ve already said your greetings, is a sign of intimacy.  Saying a shortened version of that person’s name or a special version, is an even greater sign of intimacy.  If you say “Hey Sharin how’s it going?”, that’s normal.  If in conversation you say, “Sharin.. I don’t know.. I’m just… I’m not really sure what to do Sharin… I need some help deciding”.. it’s not REALLYYY normal.  Normal would be “I’m not really sure what to do man/yo/dude” or “Hey.. I’m not really sure what to do.”.  Saying “Shar.. I don’t know.. I’m just… I’m not really sure what to do Shar?”etc etc IS EVEN MORE INTIMATE.  I’m not crazy!  It’s true. 

N what if you’re having physical relations with someone????  The only reason someone would say your name in the middle of a physical moment if they normally DON’T do that is because: a.) they’re reminding themselves who they’re with and quite possibly but not necessarily relishing the difference OR b.) they’re trying to get into it because they’re not.  Into it, that is.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you.  Trust me.

It’s true…saying someone’s name other than in your initial greeting is a sign of intimacy … so much so that it is often used in sales tactics for that particular reason.  It’s a sign of closeness, friendship, and just by saying it, it forms a bond with that person.  Who knew a name was so personal?.. yes it’s your name but it’s meant for other people to use right???  I don’t know, I just feel weird when people know my name or speak it when they don’t really know me and just see it on a nametag.  What’s in a name?  A name.. or how someone says it, can tell you a lot.  If someone uses a person’s name more in conversation say or to call them or to tell them something (other than when they used it in the initial contact) rather than saying a generic term like “hey” “yo” or just avoiding using a noun… I duno it’s weird.

Long story short.. if you don’t know me well.. don’t keep dropping my name in conversation unless you think I’m into you… you’ll freak me out.  N if you want to hide intimacy with someone.. refrain from saying their name, especially a mod vers.  Ppl notice.  If you want to enforce a bond and strengthen it… say it like she’s Beyonce singing the instructions to you… say her goddamn name!

CTV News Star | Sharin K, Surrey

CTV News Star | Sharin K, Surrey

Love today?

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If any one faculty of our nature may be called more wonderful than the rest, I do think it is memory. There seems something more speakingly incomprehensible in the powers, the failures, the inequalities of memory, than in any other of our intelligences. The memory is sometimes so retentive, so serviceable, so obedient; at others, so bewildered and so weak; and at others again, so tyrannic, so beyond control! We are, to be sure, a miracle every way; but our powers of recollecting and of forgetting do seem peculiarly past finding out.
- Jane Austen, Mansfield Park

Love Aaj Kal isn’t an accurate representation of love in today’s age.  It’s still just a hindi movie.  If it was real life, Jai (Saif Ali Khan) would have found another girl and said to himself – “eff Meera (Deepika).  That was the past.  I left her, it couldn’t have been that great anyways.  Life goes on.”  You really think, that he would fly out to India to see a girl who he thinks is married?  He wouldn’t even have attended her wedding in the first place in order to realize she was married.  Would any guy swallow his pride like that?  Would any guy even remember that what he had with that particular girl was special?  Would any guy even realize what special is?  He wouldn’t.. because he would have forgotten.  Even barring the fact that he remembered a few good memories and feelings, he would have said that it was just memories… nothing to build a future on, nothing to make someone stay with somebody.  I used to think Love Aaj Kal was an accurate representation of love today because he chooses career over love, he thinks with his head instead of his heart.  What Deepika in the movie did… letting him go to his dream job, not telling him that she left her husband…that was awesome.  It’s true, if she had told him, he would have come to her, but then his whole life he would have regretted it.  Regretted not going after what he wanted in life.  I agree with the movie on the part that in the end, once his dream was realized, he wouldn’t have found it as great as he once thought.  He would have become depressed and pondered the meaning of life and all that… but I don’t think he would have gone back to Meera.  She was the girl of his dreams, the true love of his life, but he just wouldn’t have.  True love doesn’t prevail, humans are too fickle for that to happen.

I’m not the girl with the nice cheekbones and smile that is calm and sweet and serene and beautiful.  The kind of girl that you can just snap a candid shot of from a beach day together and be proud to put it up in your bedroom in black and white in a silver frame.  I’m not the girl with a bunch of friends that goes out and has a ton of fun and parties like no tomorrow.  The kind of girl that is the center of attention, the life of the party, the girl that gives spontaneous lap dances to her boyfriend while all the other guys think “damn he’s a lucky guy”.  I’m not the girl that has a good head on her shoulders and strives for what she wants in life (horrible, right?).  I’m not the girl who cares about big moments, big moments where you can snap a picture and say “I/we did that” and then only live by those memories. 

I’m not that girl. 

There are lots of girls out there.  I’m not like them.  I’m sorry.

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