The "Chill" girl.
You've heard or know of her. The "no worries girl" the "chill girl" the "guys love to hang out with her" girl. The guys think she's different from their gf's girl (HA!), chill and opposite from their (supposedly) "psycho" girlfriends.
What people don't realize is that often, she's probably just chill because she WAS one of the most psycho girls of all time. I mean psycho in the best way, obviously. #girlsgirl
She probably learnt a lot from her experience and changed but these supposed "psycho" tendencies still likely exist.
Essentially I think a "chill" girl want's to be cool and awesome and relaxed but sacrifices their actual wants or needs in the process of looking "cool" to the guys.
Part of a Chill Girls' verbal repertoire;
- She (other girl) needs to calm the f*ck down
- It's chill
- it's ok!
- K!
- no worries!
- sounds good!
- yea!
- that's hilarious!
- omg, really lol
- Nice!
- For sure!
- Not much, just busy working
- Aw, no worries!
- I'm not a phone person
And my favourite:
- You're so funny!
Someone who says "I don't care about flowers, there are other things a guy can do to show a girl he cares". "Valentine's Day is just a commercial holiday" blah blah blah. Likely a chill girl. She probably DOES feel those things - but usually guys are too dumb to get that means she wants those things + more. So she's actually worse (in the sense of less easily accepting) than a normal girl. A normal girl would be happy with flowers! A normal girl would Instagram that ish and hashtag it #bestbf. A "chill" girl - that means she thinks that's the least you can do - she wants you to do more + she still likes flowers.
The Valentine's Day comment - you better be upping your game every other day. Birthdays and holidays? She probably thinks they are the most important things in the world, but she won't let you know. These sentences often get people confused and they think you're a "chill" girl, but suddenly a chill girl is left with even less than what she expected.
To be honest - I personally have never been the kind of girl who has said that she hates V day or etc, those are just common examples that I'm using. I think anyone that knows me knows how much I love flowers, chocolates, teddy bears, special holidays (especially Halloween, NYE and Valentine's Day). So yea. Just saying - not everything in this blog (as usual) is a direct representation of my personal self.
Spilling the beans - - - A chill girl is someone who plays the "I give less of a shit" than you do card, always. She's not actually chill and yes, she does give a shit.
Why doesn't she just tell you what she wants? Not sure.
"Chill" girl Example:
1. Guy to "Chill" girl: "Heyy stranger it's been a while!" - Chill Girl in her head: "so summer is over, you've been binge drinking every weekend and now that it's Fall you're like oh shit I should text that girl that I met." What is said in reality: "heyy it has been! :) how are you?".
Why so fake? Honestly, it's because a "Chill" Girl can't be bothered, and that's the problem! she sees it all, gets it all but can't freaking be bothered to call someone out on on their shit or to feel or care enough to say something. Like why should I? Who are you to me? Why should I call you out on your shit?
Personally, the more things that happen, the less I care, but I don't care enough in the first place to have said something. Or maybe it's expect enough to say something. I just take note of it in my head and that's it.
Personally speaking - it's obviously not good for me to pretend to be ok with things if I'm not. It's not that I accept things IN MY LIFE that I'm not ok with (in my life if I'm p.o'd at someone's behaviour they will know *cue threatening music*). It's that these things that are happening are not yet (technically) a part of my life - they are happening with people who I'm still debating about including in my life. So I still have the choice to accept this as my life or not. Since I still have a choice, it makes no sense for me to be like "hey that thing you did sucks" when I can easily just walk away from the person who was displaying sucky behaviour.
I'm usually happy and ok on my own. So then when I try and let other people into my life and they inevitably are idiots I'm not going to get mad or take it offensively. Maybe I was expecting it or maybe I was relieved when they prove that their company is in fact not worth the peace of my solitude. Maybe I just expect people to fail, maybe I want more and can't admit it. Maybe I think if I say something I'll scare them away - like me in my blogs. I'm obviously a very opinionated, weird and analytical person.
I want to meet a normal person, not someone who I have to "manage" or scold or put in their place or act upset with in order for them to finally get or understand what I want. I want them to be an adult.
I definitely see people being unsatisfied with their boyfriends, the guys are always "in trouble" or put down or making jokes about how demanding their girlfriends are (while obviously loving it).
The dangerous aspect of a "Chill" girl is if she's being chill to appear as being cooler than she is. I think that's the aspect a lot of "Chill" girls have where they feel like they can't freak out or they can't expect stuff and they'd rather pretend to be a cool girl than demand what they want or expect. But yes, girls that are "Chill girls" and are pretending to have beer versus a martini because they think it makes them more relatable or saying no worries when their boyfriend cancels on a date to hang out with friends - that's the dangerous chill girl behaviour that needs to be nipped in the bud.
If you ARE in a relationship and you HAVE expectations, I think it is important to be honest with the other person AND YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So if you WANT flowers and a nice date on Valentine's day and you haven't gotten those random bouquet of flowers you want, I'd mention it in a normal way. People aren't mind readers after all. If you AREN'T getting what you want out of a relationship then you need to be honest with yourself, and with your partner.
What people don't realize is that often, she's probably just chill because she WAS one of the most psycho girls of all time. I mean psycho in the best way, obviously. #girlsgirl
She probably learnt a lot from her experience and changed but these supposed "psycho" tendencies still likely exist.
Essentially I think a "chill" girl want's to be cool and awesome and relaxed but sacrifices their actual wants or needs in the process of looking "cool" to the guys.
Part of a Chill Girls' verbal repertoire;
- She (other girl) needs to calm the f*ck down
- It's chill
- it's ok!
- K!
- no worries!
- sounds good!
- yea!
- that's hilarious!
- omg, really lol
- Nice!
- For sure!
- Not much, just busy working
- Aw, no worries!
- I'm not a phone person
And my favourite:
- You're so funny!
Someone who says "I don't care about flowers, there are other things a guy can do to show a girl he cares". "Valentine's Day is just a commercial holiday" blah blah blah. Likely a chill girl. She probably DOES feel those things - but usually guys are too dumb to get that means she wants those things + more. So she's actually worse (in the sense of less easily accepting) than a normal girl. A normal girl would be happy with flowers! A normal girl would Instagram that ish and hashtag it #bestbf. A "chill" girl - that means she thinks that's the least you can do - she wants you to do more + she still likes flowers.
The Valentine's Day comment - you better be upping your game every other day. Birthdays and holidays? She probably thinks they are the most important things in the world, but she won't let you know. These sentences often get people confused and they think you're a "chill" girl, but suddenly a chill girl is left with even less than what she expected.
To be honest - I personally have never been the kind of girl who has said that she hates V day or etc, those are just common examples that I'm using. I think anyone that knows me knows how much I love flowers, chocolates, teddy bears, special holidays (especially Halloween, NYE and Valentine's Day). So yea. Just saying - not everything in this blog (as usual) is a direct representation of my personal self.
Spilling the beans - - - A chill girl is someone who plays the "I give less of a shit" than you do card, always. She's not actually chill and yes, she does give a shit.
Why doesn't she just tell you what she wants? Not sure.
"Chill" girl Example:
1. Guy to "Chill" girl: "Heyy stranger it's been a while!" - Chill Girl in her head: "so summer is over, you've been binge drinking every weekend and now that it's Fall you're like oh shit I should text that girl that I met." What is said in reality: "heyy it has been! :) how are you?".
Why so fake? Honestly, it's because a "Chill" Girl can't be bothered, and that's the problem! she sees it all, gets it all but can't freaking be bothered to call someone out on on their shit or to feel or care enough to say something. Like why should I? Who are you to me? Why should I call you out on your shit?
Personally, the more things that happen, the less I care, but I don't care enough in the first place to have said something. Or maybe it's expect enough to say something. I just take note of it in my head and that's it.
Personally speaking - it's obviously not good for me to pretend to be ok with things if I'm not. It's not that I accept things IN MY LIFE that I'm not ok with (in my life if I'm p.o'd at someone's behaviour they will know *cue threatening music*). It's that these things that are happening are not yet (technically) a part of my life - they are happening with people who I'm still debating about including in my life. So I still have the choice to accept this as my life or not. Since I still have a choice, it makes no sense for me to be like "hey that thing you did sucks" when I can easily just walk away from the person who was displaying sucky behaviour.
I'm usually happy and ok on my own. So then when I try and let other people into my life and they inevitably are idiots I'm not going to get mad or take it offensively. Maybe I was expecting it or maybe I was relieved when they prove that their company is in fact not worth the peace of my solitude. Maybe I just expect people to fail, maybe I want more and can't admit it. Maybe I think if I say something I'll scare them away - like me in my blogs. I'm obviously a very opinionated, weird and analytical person.
I want to meet a normal person, not someone who I have to "manage" or scold or put in their place or act upset with in order for them to finally get or understand what I want. I want them to be an adult.
I definitely see people being unsatisfied with their boyfriends, the guys are always "in trouble" or put down or making jokes about how demanding their girlfriends are (while obviously loving it).
The dangerous aspect of a "Chill" girl is if she's being chill to appear as being cooler than she is. I think that's the aspect a lot of "Chill" girls have where they feel like they can't freak out or they can't expect stuff and they'd rather pretend to be a cool girl than demand what they want or expect. But yes, girls that are "Chill girls" and are pretending to have beer versus a martini because they think it makes them more relatable or saying no worries when their boyfriend cancels on a date to hang out with friends - that's the dangerous chill girl behaviour that needs to be nipped in the bud.
If you ARE in a relationship and you HAVE expectations, I think it is important to be honest with the other person AND YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So if you WANT flowers and a nice date on Valentine's day and you haven't gotten those random bouquet of flowers you want, I'd mention it in a normal way. People aren't mind readers after all. If you AREN'T getting what you want out of a relationship then you need to be honest with yourself, and with your partner.
Woah... that is some major hate, hun. I know a shit ton of chicks that are super easy going, not because they're hiding something, but because they are genuinely less pretentious. Some people aren't really romantic, some don't need constant validation, and some actually like beer. Not everyone has exaggerated standards in relationships. Totally respect that these are your opinions, but you're generalizing to a fault. Like, seriously : /
ReplyDeleteHello! Thanks for your comment and for reading my post. Hate on whom? I personally think both chill and "chill" girls are amazing and I thought that was reflected in above. My posts are not always "my - Sharin's personal opinion" as odd as that may sound to you.
DeleteAlso "chill" is in quotation marks. There are REAL chill girls who are as you mentioned - just chill - I know a lot of them myself, and then there are the in quotation marks "chill" girls that are NOT bad people - but sometimes they are actually suppressing their needs and wants for fear of appearing not chill because they don't want to be "the psycho girl" or the "bitchy/bossy" girl and they are in short either selling themselves short or settling. Does that clarify things?
have you read gone girl? what you're saying here reminds me of this paragraph -- “Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl. Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe they’re fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. For a long time Cool Girl offended me. I used to see men – friends, coworkers, strangers – giddy over these awful pretender women, and I’d want to sit these men down and calmly say: You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men who’d like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them. I’d want to grab the poor guy by his lapels or messenger bag and say: The bitch doesn’t really love chili dogs that much – no one loves chili dogs that much! And the Cool Girls are even more pathetic: They’re not even pretending to be the woman they want to be, they’re pretending to be the woman a man wants them to be. Oh, and if you’re not a Cool Girl, I beg you not to believe that your man doesn’t want the Cool Girl. It may be a slightly different version – maybe he’s a vegetarian, so Cool Girl loves seitan and is great with dogs; or maybe he’s a hipster artist, so Cool Girl is a tattooed, bespectacled nerd who loves comics. There are variations to the window dressing, but believe me, he wants Cool Girl, who is basically the girl who likes every fucking thing he likes and doesn’t ever complain. (How do you know you’re not Cool Girl? Because he says things like: “I like strong women.” If he says that to you, he will at some point fuck someone else. Because “I like strong women” is code for “I hate strong women.”)” ― Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl.
ReplyDeletei totally agree with you... girls need to just stop!
Its hard to find these kind of "chill" girls nowadays. But you are right on the point with that girls sometimes need to say what they need instead of expecting guys read their minds.
ReplyDelete