C'est La Vie

I'm in love with two different.. Ugh I'm gonna cry.  Yes #two .. I can't believe this happened to me of all people!! I was so careful I tried to resist.

Let me explain.  My first love.. Bachelor #1..Well he's black.. Not that that should matter in this day and age but it just had to be said.  He's so smooth and hard and I know just how to press all of his buttons.. (Well it's usually just the one if you know what I mean ;)).  Literally we're inseparable.  If I'm away from him for even a moment I feel like I'm missing an arm.  I couldn't even imagine a life without him!  He's everything.. He knows EVERYTHING about me, he finishes my sentences before I even say them (aww I know) and we're just really at that point where we're so comfortable with each other you know?  There's no real variety or spice but there's something to be said for reliability.  This just WORKS.  I'm never waiting for him, he's never insecure, he's always ready for me when I need him (wink) and I've invested so much into this relationship. We've been through so much together.  I know he'll always be there for me.  It's the big things like reliability AND the little things like opening things for me just the way I like it, finishing my sentences for me, the little noises he makes <3.  He's the perfect size like we just fit.

But then.. There's eligible bachelor number 2.  He's white (shocker).  He's just so.. Different!!! He's so big and impressive and comes at me with all this exciting stuff!  He makes it seem like the possibilities are endless if only I'll give him a real shot and all of my time.  He makes me feel both in control because this could go wherever I want and out of control because I feel out of sorts when I have so many options.  But he's so new it's hard for me to resist and at the same time hard for me to commit.  I just don't know how reliable he'll be in the long run, and I get really irritated when he doesn't know what I want to say or do.  I know I shouldn't be in love with both.  I know it's wrong.  

The worst thing is I see so much of #1 in #2, like the more I've hung out with #2 and the more we get to know each other I don't feel so anxious being with him.. It helps that I've been able to download the iOS 7 keyboard on my Samsung Galaxy S4.  Wait, what? What did you think I was talking about?