C'est La Vie

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
― Maya Angelou

People will never forget how you made them feel.  This is what I want to do in life… I want to make people feel.  I want to be able to make as many people feel as I can.  If I can make someone feel something, then I have distracted them in that one moment from whatever is going on in their life and that one moment of their life is a gift to me… it would be mine and weaved into my tapestry, into my story and would connect me with them. 

I want to take your breath away, I want to make you laugh, I want to make you cry, I want to remind you of someone important in your life.  I want that one moment from you.

This is why I want to be an actor (and this is why since I’m not an actor right now – I write!). 

I’m jealous of Oprah!  Not because of the money (although I wouldn’t say no to a billion dollars…actually maybe I would… too much friggin money)… but because her job allowed her to make other people feel, every single day (and this is why I love Shah Rukh Khan…although mine and his story/love affair is a long story).  I’m jealous of Oprah because everyday when she was standing on her show she knew that that was exactly where she was supposed to be.  Not a lot of people can say that.  That’s a blessing. 

Have you ever watched the musical Burlesque?  In it, Christina Aguilera's character leaves her small town when she realizes that there is literally no one else in that town who’s life she would want.  There was no one there who inspired her enough to make her want to stay.  This is kind of how I feel about Vancouver.  There is NO ONE here whose life I would want, there is no one here, no career position that has inspired me enough to want to stay here and there is no position or job that I could create even to fulfill what I want.  I know what I want, and it’s just not here.  The only thing keeping me in Vancouver right now is my family – I can’t even say my friends because I know I would meet my friends if I moved anywhere else in the world but I can’t just pick up and relocate my family.

I’ve lived in Vancouver for over 15 years now and there came a point where I was overseas and was boarding my flight to come home to YVR and I was just like… what is the point?  What do I have there?  That moment was terrifying to me – that I could have lived somewhere for over a decade and feel that besides my family I have nothing really physically keeping me there.  It was… terrifying, sad, humbling.  It was kind of my “Eat pray love” moment except I couldn’t sell off all my things like her and travel the world with a book deal waiting for me because I have a FAMILY and I have RESPONSIBILITIES… but how I wish I could have!!

Living an uninspired life is a fate worse than death.  I hope I get to fulfill my dreams and I hope you do too!!!  Goodnight everyone.

There are some teachers who truly guide you and influence your life.  Mrs. Hillman was an amazing teacher, I had her as a teacher for two years.. for English 9 and English 10 Challenge/Advanced or whatever it was called (which turned out to be way easier than regular English haha seriously the BEST CLASS I’ve ever had… )

I was never a very memorable kid in school.  I was never the favoured teacher’s pet.  I’ve mentioned before on this blog I think… I was a pretty quiet, shy person for most of elementary and into junior high and I guess you could say I never really bloomed – late bloomer if you will.  Mrs. Hillman was the only teacher who ever actually bothered…she pushed me, cared, and encouraged me to pursue my dreams and saw something in me.  I know that she made countless other students feel the same way and that is why she was truly special.

I remember having some seriously intense conversations with her after school about life and books.  She treated you like an adult and not like an idiot junior high kid.  I remember I called her home phone number one day :$ lol yes I was clearly a weirdo but it was like before the days you could Facebook and email your teacher lol I had some kind of emergency or something…Anywho…  I remember how she told me after class that she was sticking me with this one person who rubbed everyone the wrong way because I was the only person who could control him lol, I remember dissecting books I had read that weren’t in our curriculum with her, she was even one of my references for job applications.  I actually still remember the comments that she gave me on my presentations, my writing (I still have my notes and her comments) and how she scarily knew what I was thinking/my personality.  Sometimes in elementary and junior high I used to think some of my teachers were dumb (like actually stupid I swear to you) and I knew that she knew what she was talking about and I really respected her.  English - reading and writing - was seriously the only thing I was good at and no one ever really gave me any compliments back in the day so her compliments to me and her comments always stuck with me and I truly valued them. 

Thank you Mrs Hillman for being the best teacher ever and you will be missed!!