Mallika Sherawat. The whole thing - especially 3:50 ONWARDS. She's first and foremost - a Bollywood actress and not a "popular" one - thus automatically "not respected" as a woman, not to mention she's one of the first actresses in Bollywood to have kissed on screen. Her first movie required her to kiss more than 10 times in a Bollywood movie - breaking for sure some sort of record.
People dismiss beautiful women so easily, not to mention ones that initially displayed their sex appeal as one of their plus points. It makes me inherently sad to have people judge others' intelligence based on their beauty or sex appeal.
Mallika is a rare breed - especially for "Indian" culture. Independent, presumably sexual - at least comfortable with portraying sensuousness on screen, and has acted in international films opposite Jackie Chan and in other regional films besides Indian cinema. She came under fire a while ago due to her comments on women in India.
Note that this was at a time that "India's daughter" Jyoti Singh who made International headlines and was treated in Singapore was brutally murdered. Jyoti was raped and ultimately died due to her injuries. Jyoti was raped, by a metal rod, desecrated, and horrifyingly more.
When Mallika came back to India and was questioned by a journalist she for once in an actresses; life actually had facts to back up her statement, did not try to be politically correct, had 100% the truth in terms of what she originally said and why she said what she did. In short - she was smart, intelligent, spoke beautiful hindi and this is one of the truest and most intelligent things I've heard from this industry.
Said with PASSION, strength, etc. I cried re-watching this as I have many times before (I'm obviously still tearing up.)
Lines: "Aur aurothon ki tarah main bhi chup reh-jaon? (...) 1000 men to 700 women, Khok mein hi marh dehtey hain, aur is desh mein Devi ki pooja ki jathi hain aur female bachey ko khok mein mardetein hain.'
It's actresses like Mallika who 1st of all SPEAK THE PRIMARY LANGUAGE OF HER COUNTRY who can make a change in society in India. Women, especially those pursuing a career in one of the most sexualized acting industries in the world often don't speak out for fear of a backlash. I'm still in tears copying what she said in my head. Moving.
J.Lo'a ass is amazing. Jennifer Lopez since the day she's been introduced to the world has always been one of the finest things to walk this Earth. Her Versace dress moment is STILL the most iconic fashion moment I've ever witnessed.
Jennifer Lopez is and forever will be hot and a superstar. She changed the game. She was a 5 ft something Latina goddess in an era where super tall skinny blondes were popular, she could dance, she could sing, she was a business woman, and she's now worth over 300 million dollars. In short, she is the bomb.com.
Check out that muscle. DAYUM!!!!!!!
I cannot believe how old she is. I think it's soooo phenomenal. To the people who are like "she's so old, why is she still shaking her as*, can't she do something more with her life, why should I commend her for being naked and shaking her a**" - PLEASE, PLEASE BE worth 300+million, be 45 yrs old and look like Jennifer Lopez before opening your paycheck to paycheck mouth!! Shut. up.
A male hip hop artist NEVER needs to "evolve" or do something more with their lives. They can continue to sing the same old songs while plugging whatever their latest champagne/vodka line is with females dancing around them and no one bats an eyelash. Why all the hate when a female is doing what she came in the business doing?
Jennifer Lopez was never a Nobel prize winner for goodness sakes. She is a hip hop/pop artist that has a world famous butt. So why is it wrong for her to continue to do what she came to the business doing??? Why should she stop shaking it? Why do people suddenly expect a 40+ year old woman to change???? Why isn't she commended for being relevant, being current, for having an amazing song, for looking good, for working hard for her figure?
It's not like was playing up to male fantasies throughout the video - I mean obviously she was shaking it and looked hot but she was doing it in a "I'm amazing powerful and phenomenal" way as opposed to playing up to male fantasies like Nicki did in her video. J.Lo looked bad-ass! She looked in charge of her figure her sexuality, she looked strong, female and empowered.
People think that being a feminist or being empowered means you're supposed to cover up and look "respectable" - no that's just women being oppressed and subjected to the ideals of men again. You don't need to change or cover up or look more serious in order for people to take you seriously. A truly empowered woman does what she wants, when she wants and has the belief that she'll be respected because she's earned it.
That isn't objectification folks, that's an empowered woman. Contrast that picture above with:
I'm writing this post 46 seconds into watching this YouTube video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dzgqXjhTA8
I'm crying (big surprise I'm the most emotional crier I know). I have been in more situations than I would like to mention, in horrid and truly terrifying moments where I thought - this is it, I'm going to be raped, this is the end, this person is going to kill me.
I am not exaggerating. These are the thoughts that run through a woman's head when she is out, when she is alone, when someone looks at her the wrong way, when someone leers at her, when she's had a few drinks, when she realizes that any man who wants to can overpower her, when she's in a cab and the cab driver makes a turn she wasn't expecting, when her phone battery is dead and she's out, when she gets lost, when she goes on a date with someone who she wasn't too sure with, when she's in a public bathroom that doesn't have anyone else in it and she hears the door open, when she's on the Skytrain and someone won't leave her alone, when she gets off at a bus stop and someone who was staring at her gets off the same stop, when she hears someone running behind her and she's on a street walking and the sun has set and no one is around, when she's in a parking lot walking to her car and the only other person is a male and he's walking close to you, when you're at a party and someone keeps pressuring you to walk with them or go somewhere with them, when someone you know is supposed to "drop you off" but are ambling around and giving you really creepy vibes, when you're at a college party and someone is dropping you off at your dorm, when you're on a camping trip and someone is walking you to your tent under a guise of being nice and helpful but you don't really trust them, when you have to ask someone else to come along with you, when you are travelling in a foreign country and you're trying to book a room somewhere, when you're on a Vegas trip with your friends and you have to call security because someone you met casually just won't stop banging down your door and terrifying your friends after you told them no. Whew.
There are a myriad of situations in which a woman will have that one blinking second (or more) of pure fear, of pure terror, of the thought of being raped.
It is, I believe, every Woman's worse fear. The act of rape, is a terrifying and very real fear for women. It's not something like being kidnapped where you think, this only happens to other people. It's one of those fears that is VERY REAL, it's very present in a woman's life. There have been multiple "What would you do" type of situations in which a drunken girl in America has been at a bar and a man she clearly doesn't know tries to pick her up. Watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QcLs98NeJY
I remember watching that video with my Father no less and tearing up so badly at 2:30. It is shocking to me to see people do nothing. That man is a hero in my eyes, he is someone I will never forget. "She don't walk this freaking place with you because she don't know you". Word! Thank you humanity!!!!!! If you did not cry at 3:04 I don't even want to know you, straight up.
It is heartening to me when people, complete strangers, have come to my aid. I have walked up to complete strangers and said "hey, this man has been taking pictures of me while I'm standing here, I don't know him, please help me". Can you imagine? Literally I have had males that I don't even know block me from being snapped. My new tactic is to flip my phone to "selfie" mode, turn it around to face the offender and have them see themselves being perverts. It's actually quite effective (but scary if they get angry).
I have walked up to Skytrain officials without saying one word just looking at them with my eyes and having them personally escort me on the train, have the man refused entry while I boarded and been assured of my safety (this literally happened just last week - he was refused entry and they blocked him from entering my train, I tweeted my thanks here: https://twitter.com/MissSaxena_/status/486782406046023681). I have been followed on the streets, chased in a car (with my mom driving), been in an almost empty stadium after a job interview and have a man follow me into the bathroom and peel my name tag off my shirt, as I said, more situations than I would care to speak of.
All I want to say is - Women look out for other women but I just don't see men doing the same. I don't see men feeling that same responsibility, that same empathy and the empathy level drops very significantly if the woman in question has had alcohol. Alcohol does not make a woman a target, alcohol is not a "no rules apply" situation. The most drunken woman in the world can lie naked in front of a male member of my family and they would never be touched, they would be treated like a Queen; alcohol is not consent.
Whenever I am out, if I see someone that I think needs help, or may need my help I will NEVER leave them, they will not go out of my sight. I will personally go out of my way to ensure that they are safe. It may sound weird to you but I could never leave a situation where I think this girl or old man or whomever is alone, is in a dangerous situation and just leave. Whatever the situation is, I will stay, I will say something, I will do it...why, because I can't look myself in the mirror if I left. All I want, is for people to STAND UP. It is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. It's your responsibility to help. Don't be that douchebag that helps some guy hook up with a drunk girl.
Don't be that that person. Please realize that it's your responsibility to watch out for someone, to make sure that no harm falls on them.
No one deserves to be violated. No one deserves to be raped. No one is asking for it. No one.
Please do the right thing, be alert when you're out, and when you see something please, please don't be silent. Call the police or if you won't be endangered speak out but whatever you do, do SOMETHING.
Q: "Does it not bother you at all that there are people around the world that are looking at you in a sleazy way, or do you like the popularity?" "Don't you care that there are all these 'dippers' commenting on your pictures, or do you like that stuff?" "Why don't you put your stuff on private?".
A: "Yeah I do it so people will jack off to me at night."
Ok, in all honesty, why do I do this? I thought that, I would be "somebody", maybe a girl who was interning somewhere, maybe a girl that was auditioning somewhere, maybe a girl who was working and doing stuff on the side. I've always been someone who loved meeting people, who loved being expressive (reading, journalism, writing, dancing, performing has always been part of me), I look at writing or Twitter or Instagram as a creative expression, as a diary of sorts, and not to mention a great networking opportunity. Also, I work in social media, I completely disagree with having PRIVATE accounts for the most part (Facebook and Instagram I can see how you may just want family/friends to view it) but WHY DO PEOPLE HAVE PRIVATE TWITTER ACCOUNTS? It just baffles me. So no, I will never private my stuff, I think it's dumb to do that.
Right now, I'm nobody, but I can't fully pull the plug on the public me. I still have that darned sliver of hope that maybe one day I'll... figure it all out in a manner that won't leave me wanting more. Not sure if this is humanly possible but it's a hope!
There are people who pursue a public career choice in a private manner, there are people who pursue private careers in a public manner, and then there are people who pursue public careers in a public manner. I personally do not regret having put myself out there in the past, (or now, if I am) because I've met so many amazing people and have come across some pretty cool situations!
Now please note, I'm not saying that I am a public personality, I'm simply talking about how as an individual you can be a little more public or a little more private. Everyone is fairly public these days, I can probably find most of you on LinkedIn or Facebook or Twitter, and most people post pictures that are up for public consumption. Do I think that 1 sleazy guy is probably viewing a girl's picture right now? Of course he is. At the end of the day a girl is going to be looked at no matter what by someone in a sleazy manner no matter what. Does that mean that we're supposed to lock ourselves in a cage and only go out when fully covered?
Do I like the popularity? Firstly, what popularity? This is so relative. I would say that the most "out there" or "popular" I have ever FELT in my life was when I was in bhangra. This was pre - Much Music tryouts which is what I would consider the start of a more "public" me. So yes, bhangra was when I felt the most popular. If I was just into "feeling popular" than I would have just stayed in bhangra, gone out with multiple people, talked to 50 other guys and had a grand old time. That's not what I did because I don't care about that. I did not have 2000 Twitter or Instagram followers or 1000 Facebook friends at the time, but I felt like wow people know me, people like me (in a normal way), etc. So no, I'm not doing this for popularity, but I do appreciate the fact that in this day and age, having some klout online is a good thing. Ask any producer if he would rather pick someone with 15K followers or 100 followers (of course if you're truly beautiful, it likely will not matter how many followers you have, but for those that are not god gifted, everything else helps :) ). To gain social influence, you sometimes have to appeal to the masses and do your business needs to keep that up. It's purely business. Trust me when I say this, a nice selfie can go a long way haha.
As a woman who cares deeply about objectification, it's always been difficult to want to be in an industry that puts so much emphasis on physical appearance. The joy of acting or wanting to be in a medium that has given me so much joy has always outweighed my feminist views (so far). I would love to be able to change things from within, but also I think there's something beautiful in not caring about how people perceive you and owning your sexuality.
I've tried my best to not be sleazy myself, to not be just tits and ass. I appeared in a music video once that sang about how every guy wants a nice car and a nice girl. I also appear on top of the car in one scene (wearing a pink and white striped A-line dress mind you not a short and tight number). I was also pretty young but... I remember thinking that the song was kind of cool. What was wrong with a guy saying that he wants a nice car and a nice girl, is that not a humble ambition? Is it not like me saying, I want a nice husband and a nice house? Do we have to deny EVERYTHING and become completely asexual and unrealistic in order to be an advocate for self respect and woman's issues?
Also, honestly sometimes, you just want to do something because it's fun! I did a music video where the artist literally says that he pops a boner.. seriously. This one, might be a little hard to explain, so I might not even go there in this blog post because then I'll have to touch on what I feel about being sexual, open and honest but I still thought it was a classy shoot lol. I HAVE boobs, I HAVE an ass this is part of me being a woman and I don't feel that I should have to hide this fact from people just so that I don't get judged by men and other woman as being "skanky" or "slutty". I also did a swimsuit shoot for a men's magazine that shall not be named (only because they changed the answers to my interview to better suit them). I thought it was classy, my dad did not have a problem with it, my brother was there with me when I shot the whole thing and I had a great time. It's a swimsuit, and I was posing. I'm not rolling around in the sand pouring water over myself while licking my lips. It's a beach shoot, I'm wearing a bikini, and I quite liked the results. Did I do this to have men look at me in a sexual way? I would have to say that's not the THE reason why I did it but yes, I wanted to look appealing I definitely didn't want men to be repulsed when looking at the images, but there was a greater purpose other than "wanting to look hot and be popular".. like seriously.. no girl needs to be in a freaking swimsuit in a magazine or in a music video or doing photo shoots to be popular with men.
Maybe I've done some out there things, maybe I've made some choices that people will not understand, maybe I've lost all my chances at being selected as eligible marriage material by an Indian matchmaker but this is me. Take it or leave it! I don't do things without a lot of thought (which I think is contrary to what people may think), and I can feel good about every decision I've ever made in my life so at the end of the day isn't that what life should be about?
Ok I gotta admit, I am a HUGE Britney fan. During her "Hit Me Baby One More Time" days I used to see her giggling, girly, blonde self in interviews and roll my eyes, hating on everything she'd say, but I never once changed the channel if she was on tv. Something about her life has always fascinated me. Britney became such a huge sensation. After Princess Diana, I would say Britney was the iconic blonde of my generation (bottle blonde or not). It seems odd to say Princess Diana and Britney in one sentence but you have to admit, they were both iconic, albeit in very different ways. Madonna is the only other singer I could compare Britney too, her image was as racy, but always in a kinky, erotic, contrived way. Britney, on the other hand, screamed sex, yet in such a innocent, American cheerleader way. She had a huge impact on girls all over the world, as well as pop culture.
The latest Britney news, is that she is lending her face and name to Candie's, available at Kohl's department stores. Now I've been reading my US magazines, and I'm pretty dang sure that I saw Britney's flubber coming out of her Circus tour costumes. Now I'm not saying she's giganto-woman anymore or anything, but she definitely doesn't have the body of her pre-pregnancy-mental trauma self any longer. So what's with the Candie's ads? Retouching is cool and all but I just think that when it's so obviously fake, there's just no point! The executive vice prez of Kohl's stated that: "The new Candie's advertising campaign featuring Britney Spears is authentic, relevant and designed to resonate with our junior shopper." Authentic? Hmmm, not the best choice of words! Whatever the case, it's great to see Britney back, hot and fabulous. I swear my entire life went off kilter when Britney, the girl that symbolized hotness as I grew up, shaved her head and started attacking things with umbrellas. Shiver.
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies
I'm not cute or built to suit a model's fashion size
But when I start to tell them
They think I'm telling lies.
I say It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips
The stride of my steps
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.
I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please
And to a man
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees
Then they swarm around me
A hive of honey bees.
I say
It's the fire in my eyes
And the flash of my teeth
The swing of my waist
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.
Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say It's in the arch of my back
The sun of my smile
The ride of my breasts
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.
Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say
It's in the click of my heels
The bend of my hair
The palm of my hand
The need for my care.
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.
- Maya Angelou
In my opinion, being comfortable with your sexuality is a great thing. I love being a woman, and I absolutely love Maya Angelou's poem, "Phenomenal Woman", because I feel like it embodies who I am as a person. On some occasions I do feel like showing off my body, like when I wear a sari that's maybe more revealing than the conventional sari, or if I'm going out for a night on the town but always in a manner where there is still some mystery. I think now is the time to show off and appreciate (in a classy manner) what I have because it's all downhill from here, right?!
On the other hand though, I think that, like the woman that Maya Angelou describes, I don't need to shout or jump about, and I like having that "inner mystery". I think girls who reveal too much of themselves are "shouting" for attention, and although they might think that they're being modern women, and that they're very feminist in their thinking of being free and open sexually, I feel that it actually is oppressive. There is a difference between loving and respecting your body, and vying for attention from men (which is what I feel is oppressive). At the end of the day, when women wear ultra revealing clothing, yes it looks hot, yes we feel sexy, confident, brazen, self assured and powerful...but truthfully the only reason we feel that way is because we know that men find us hard to resist in those clothes. By "those clothes" I mean clothes like a school girl's uniform, a dress that looks like "that" dress by Versace (the one that J-Lo wore when she was J-Lo)...something totally revealing and something that leaves very little for the imagination.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, I love being a woman, I love being able to wear clothes that make me feel sexy, but at the same time, I think some girls show off too much of their body, or are too brazen in their attitude towards things like sex. Some things are meant to be private, and I feel that when celebrities such as Angelina and Megan Fox talk about their sex lives, it is meant to titillate the reader and make us (or more specifically, make men) view them as objects of sexual desire, as that is the image they want to present. I just feel like that brings us backwards as women, and that I would rather be known for other things, but I guess that's just me.
I would never call or badmouth another girl and call them a slut, because I believe that girls who generally act like men, are called sluts, skanks, whores, etc. I don't understand what the double standards are about nor do I wish to endorse them. Why are women called such things? I don't feel that women who are simply happy or comfortable with their bodies and sexuality are called derogatory words, I think it's a lot more complicated than that. One can't say that only women that are confident and comfortable with their sexuality are called such things because there are plenty of women out there, who are young and old, that are totally comfortable with themselves, yet they still conduct themselves in a classy manner, and are never thought of by society as being a "slut", or "skank". I suppose the majority of women who are called those words, are women who are very vocal about sexual matters, or wish to portray themselves in that manner by constantly wearing clothes that are meant to titillate the audience, and in that regard there is no double standard for me because I would feel that a male was equally tacky if he was to be extremely vocal about his sexual prowess. I feel that you can be confident and happy with your body, but that doesn't mean that you need to constantly let other people know or put your body up for display every time you go out.
When I see or hear of a girl participating in a lingerie show at a club, competing in a wet t-shirt contest, or kissing other girls when the Katy Perry song comes on, I don't sit and think "Wow that's great, this girl is really comfortable with her sexuality and that's such a great thing for women all over the world". I do however think that she needs to grow up and realize that you can be a confident and sexy person, without subjugating yourself to becoming a hormone-ridden teenage boy's fantasy for the night.
