C'est La Vie

I'm writing this post 46 seconds into watching this YouTube video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dzgqXjhTA8

I'm crying (big surprise I'm the most emotional crier I know).  I have been in more situations than I would like to mention, in horrid and truly terrifying moments where I thought - this is it, I'm going to be raped, this is the end, this person is going to kill me.

I am not exaggerating.  These are the thoughts that run through a woman's head when she is out, when she is alone, when someone looks at her the wrong way, when someone leers at her, when she's had a few drinks, when she realizes that any man who wants to can overpower her, when she's in a cab and the cab driver makes a turn she wasn't expecting, when her phone battery is dead and she's out, when she gets lost, when she goes on a date with someone who she wasn't too sure with, when she's in a public bathroom that doesn't have anyone else in it and she hears the door open, when she's on the Skytrain and someone won't leave her alone, when she gets off at a bus stop and someone who was staring at her gets off the same stop, when she hears someone running behind her and she's on a street walking and the sun has set and no one is around, when she's in a parking lot walking to her car and the only other person is a male and he's walking close to you, when you're at a party and someone keeps pressuring you to walk with them or go somewhere with them, when someone you know is supposed to "drop you off" but are ambling around and giving you really creepy vibes, when you're at a college party and someone is dropping you off at your dorm, when you're on a camping trip and someone is walking you to your tent under a guise of being nice and helpful but you don't really trust them, when you have to ask someone else to come along with you, when you are travelling in a foreign country and you're trying to book a room somewhere, when you're on a Vegas trip with your friends and you have to call security because someone you met casually just won't stop banging down your door and terrifying your friends after you told them no.  Whew.


There are a myriad of situations in which a woman will have that one blinking second (or more) of pure fear, of pure terror, of the thought of being raped.

It is, I believe, every Woman's worse fear.  The act of rape, is a terrifying and very real fear for women.  It's not something like being kidnapped where you think, this only happens to other people.  It's one of those fears that is VERY REAL, it's very present in a woman's life.  There have been multiple "What would you do" type of situations in which a drunken girl in America has been at a bar and a man she clearly doesn't know tries to pick her up.  Watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QcLs98NeJY


 I remember watching that video with my Father no less and tearing up so badly at 2:30.  It is shocking to me to see people do nothing.  That man is a hero in my eyes, he is someone I will never forget.  "She don't walk this freaking place with you because she don't know you".   Word!  Thank you humanity!!!!!!  If you did not cry at 3:04 I don't even want to know you, straight up.

It is heartening to me when people, complete strangers, have come to my aid.  I have walked up to complete strangers and said "hey, this man has been taking pictures of me while I'm standing here, I don't know him, please help me".  Can you imagine?  Literally I have had males that I don't even know block me from being snapped.  My new tactic is to flip my phone to "selfie" mode, turn it around to face the offender and have them see themselves being perverts.  It's actually quite effective (but scary if they get angry).

I have walked up to Skytrain officials without saying one word just looking at them with my eyes and having them personally escort me on the train, have the man refused entry while I boarded and been assured of my safety (this literally happened just last week - he was refused entry and they blocked him from entering my train, I tweeted my thanks here: https://twitter.com/MissSaxena_/status/486782406046023681).  I have been followed on the streets, chased in a car (with my mom driving), been in an almost empty stadium after a job interview and have a man follow me into the bathroom and peel my name tag off my shirt, as I said, more situations than I would care to speak of.

All I want to say is - Women look out for other women but I just don't see men doing the same.  I don't see men feeling that same responsibility, that same empathy and the empathy level drops very significantly if the woman in question has had alcohol.  Alcohol does not make a woman a target, alcohol is not a "no rules apply" situation.  The most drunken woman in the world can lie naked in front of a male member of my family and they would never be touched, they would be treated like a Queen; alcohol is not consent.

Whenever I am out, if I see someone that I think needs help, or may need my help I will NEVER leave them, they will not go out of my sight.  I will personally go out of my way to ensure that they are safe.  It may sound weird to you but I could never leave a situation where I think this girl or old man or whomever is alone, is in a dangerous situation and just leave.  Whatever the situation is, I will stay, I will say something, I will do it...why, because I can't look myself in the mirror if I left.  All I want, is for people to STAND UP.  It is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.  It's your responsibility to help.  Don't be that douchebag that helps some guy hook up with a drunk girl.

Don't be that that person.  Please realize that it's your responsibility to watch out for someone, to make sure that no harm falls on them.

No one deserves to be violated.  No one deserves to be raped.  No one is asking for it.  No one.

Please do the right thing, be alert when you're out, and when you see something please, please don't be silent.  Call the police or if you won't be endangered speak out but whatever you do, do SOMETHING.