If you only have ten seconds read this:
You have two choices on how to deal. You can either “scrap it out” or shut up. You can’t NOT scrap it out and still run your mouth – that makes zero sense. Unless the other person can’t even be bothered to scrap it out with you… then you’re just lame for harbouring a hatred for someone who doesn’t even give an eff. Screw bullies and eff bitches.
Now if you have more time to spare, here are my ramblings and philosophies on the two. Maybe you will relate, maybe you feel I deal with things completely wrong but here jump in my head and let’s check it out.
Background.
As most of you know, I was born in Singapore and I moved to Canada in 1994. What that means is that as a child I had this dorky Singaporean accent for my first few years in Canada (I still do actually but I’ve developed a Canadian one for when I’m oot and aboot), big ears, I was painfully shy and had a braid, and I didn’t know American tv shows or cartoons like Puff the Magic Dragon and Pippi Longstocking or Barney for the longest time. I was somewhat culturally clueless and it left me feeling unbelievably displaced. It’s a big change even if you are only a little kid to move from Asia to North America. If you’ve read any of my previous blog posts you will know that I spent most of my time reading. All in all I wasn’t a “cool” chick and I was bullied up until about gr. 4.
Bullies.
A funny word for funny people. Now that I’ve grown up and have become the pretty confident chicka I am today one would think that no one would ever dare to bully me, and if they did, that it wouldn’t affect me. Not exactly the case. There are still bullies in the world even at this age and it’s unfortunate that some people still feel the need to put others down in order to feel better about themselves. When you’re older the face of your bully may change or even disappear. Cyber bullying is unbelievable right now with sites like the Dirty and Facebook making it ok for anyone to make an account or post something nasty about you. It may happen at work when you’re intimidated or pressured by an imbalance of power to do something you don’t want to. It could be verbal/physical/social like excluding someone. My policy now as it was then is to ignore it. I actually find it funny when I encounter it; it makes me smile because I have come so far from the girl who used to come home to cry to my mother or disappear into a book. But – that doesn’t mean that I’m immune to a bully.
At the core of it all, no matter how high my heels are, how expensive my jeans are or how big I can tease my hair (actually this is a lie I never tease my own hair, Tamara S from Pizazz does it for me – she’s awesome!), I’m still the same geeky Singaporean chick that I always was, I just have a lil more sway in my step. It amazes me to know that some people in the world think I’m attractive (?? I know…don’t laugh! GOSH you’re mean you bully!) because in my head I’m a total Looneytune and some situations that I’ve been in I just look around like haha wow who knewwww me, lil ol Sharin, would ever be here and I laugh inside like a maniac. So if you see me walking with a smile on my face, I’m not smirking at you, I’m smirking at the world because you should never let anyone stop you from doing what you want to do. You should never let anyone make you feel inferior.
It does hurt when people don’t like me, I’ve always felt this overwhelming need to be liked but hey, you win some you lose some! Stop stressing! Do you feel the same way? You can’t expect everyone in the world to like you and as long as they don’t like me for who I am rather than for what I’ve done – I’m ok with it. Was that confusing? Ok listen, if someone doesn’t like me because I’ve actually DONE something to them – then I am a bad person; I wronged someone knowingly or unknowingly and I am not ok with that. I really do live my life trying not to wrong anyone. If they don’t like me for my opinions or because I laugh too much or because I take attention away from them or whatever it is then SCREW THEM! There are a few people (that I know about) that don’t like me and I never bothered to ask them why because it was out of the blue to me and I know that I’ve never done anything to them so… whatever. Their loss. I’m just being me and what other people think of me is none of my business.
If you really don’t like someone, then either shut up, or scrap it out. I don’t necessarily mean be violent (although if that’s what you mutually want then whatever as long as it’s a fair fight) but you have to go head to head, say what you need and then move on! You don’t have to settle the matter and be friends but as long as you’ve made your stance clear that you dislike the person then just continue living your life rather than making them the center of your hate filled world. You cannot do NOTHING to square off against someone but then proceed to make funny faces, talk shit about them to other people and say the word “whore” under your breath every time you walk by each other. That’s just a waste of your energy, it’s stupid and it makes you a bully (and immature!).
So to all the bullies out there, stop wasting your time! To all the bullied people or people who have a few haters in this world, you must be doing something right because you have something that intimidates the other person. There is something about you that they can’t control or can’t be/wishes they were like or maybe they are like you but they don’t have the confidence to showcase it and they want to bring you down. That mean’s you’re coming out ahead of them brother, keep doing your thing and eff the haters!
