C'est La Vie

I could not be like my mother.  Why?  I’m not that good/kind/nice.  I would not be selfless.  I don’t know anyone my age who would be selfless if they were to become mothers… we as a generation have become too selfish, too demanding.  My mother is someone I can’t even talk about on this blog because there is just too much emotion there.  *DISCLAIMER; The following is not a true story of ANYONE I know… just a scenario to explain why being a woman is freaking difficult so I may have borrowed or embellished things*
I just don’t understand the concept of being a mother.  Just imagine.  Not too long ago you’re a little girl walking around licking an ice cream cone and playing hop scotch (hopefully not at the same time).  You grow up, go out with your friends/family/sisters, learn how to cook… fall in love or somehow get married and then bam.  Your whole life is over.  It’s over for YOU… and now your whole life is put on the back burner/back seat/second fiddle to your children. 
Your children grow up thinking that their life is more important, that you should put everything on hold for them, and you do!  You wake up every morning, make tea for your husband, get his food and clothes ready, see your kids off to school, clean up the house, cook food for the family, pick your kids up from school, do the laundry, do the dishes, go to work maybe part time, come back, cook again and maybe just maybe get a spare hour for yourself to read a book or watch a tv program if you’re lucky and your daughter isn’t watching her PVR’d Gossip Girl episodes.
On top of the demands of a husband and the stresses of having a job and looking after a house financially and figuratively, you have to worry about your daughter wanting to go clubbing and being out with her friends at late hours of the night and how she is constantly busy doing one unusual or dangerous activity after another, then there’s your son wanting to join a fight club/MMVA type of club, your other two daughters are essentially good but you have three total and not one of them is married.  Then there’s the pain of losing your parents.  I mean, how do you handle the stress?  How do you find happiness?  When is it YOUR TURN to live????
It just seems like being a woman is so difficult.  Being a mother is so difficult.  I would love to be a mother one day let me just throw that out there, I think my life would be very odd if I never had children one day but I just think that it is an insanely difficult task.  One day you belong to your father and you have to listen to everything he says, then you belong to your husband and his family, then you bring up your children and then maybe your daughter in law and son don’t look after you (in an Asian type household) and you grow old and your daughters leave you to get married and live their own lives.  It just seems so sad.  When do you get to live for yourself?  When does a woman get to live for herself? 
I don’t want that to be my life.  I don’t want to belong to anyone or put my life on hold for anyone, ever.  That is a quality that I think good mothers have though…they are selfless and want the best for their children.  They put their children first.  They put their children’s happiness before their own. 
That is why I say, I can never be like my mother…