C'est La Vie

I am what I call an “extremist” - not in the terrorist kind of way or “religious zealot” way either but simply put I fluctuate between extreme ends of the emotional spectrum rapidly (see my “Who Am I” section on the right).  On an aside… I absolutely hate the way many extremists who bomb planes and kill their daughters are called “fundamentalists”.  I feel that they are as far from the fundamental teachings of their religion as is possible and the term “fundamentalist” is an insult to the religion itself.  

Back to what I was saying, I am an extremist and I can’t quite decide if that is a good thing or a bad thing.

Any self help book (and I’ve read quite a few), religious book (again – I’ve read quite a few) or meditative/spiritual conversations that I have engaged in with spiritual people have mentioned in some shape or form that peace can be achieved through having a tranquil mind that is free from desires.  A peaceful, happy person is one that has the ability to meditate and free their mind from the banality of worldly goods and desires.  Not only do spiritual or self help books mention this but highly successful people who have accomplished many great things in life for an extended period of time have as well.  Over many years I’ve read various interviews or memoirs on businessmen, activists, politicians, humanitarians, actors/models and they also have often stated that one thing that has kept them going for so long is that they don’t ride too high on their highs or too low on their lows.  They don’t really get affected by the crazy roller coaster of emotions that I seem to be affected by.

So here is why I am confused.  I don’t 100% love being a slave to my emotions, but I 85% love it.  What should I do?  Am I supposed to listen to all these respected and other worldly people and float through life in an almost detached and spiritual meditative state?  Am I supposed to say screw you Buddha and your half a billion followers I think my philosophy is better? I love being wildly, deliriously happy and yes the contrast is that you do occasionally become horribly, cripplingly depressed but I don’t mind suffering so long as I can have that out of this world happiness every so often.  I feel that all super smart people though – Buddha, Guru’s, Holy scriptures, Yogi’s etc think that how I am is a bad thing.  I see the wisdom in what they are saying but…I don’t know.  It’s hard to change.  I guess I am aspiring to not be so extreme but I happen to think it’s one of my best features?! 

I keep most things on the surface; when I’m upset or mad it’s right there in your face but once the matter has been dealt with I’m over it and move on and am all jolly again.  I kind of feel that people who aren’t like me are missing out… it’s great to be me sometimes.  I am going to try to be a bit more balanced.  It can only be a good thing to not be a slave to one’s emotions right?

Here is a quote that really inspires me from Khalil Gibran’s The Prophet.

For reason, ruling alone, is a force confining; and passion, unattended, is a flame that burns to its own destruction.
Therefore let your soul exalt your reason to the height of passion; that it may sing;
And let it direct your passion with reason, that your passion may live through its own daily resurrection, and like the phoenix rise above its own ashes.

I think it’s really inspiring because I’m so often full of passion that I don’t let reason guide me and basically everything he says is true.  I just love it.  I love every sentence it’s the complete truth.

I have heard those three words uttered countless times.  If those words have never crossed your lips then I bet you’ve heard them said by a co-worker or friend.  Women similar to the three women in the above picture have probably said those three words irrespective of the fact that they have three vastly different body types. 

Newsflash people: FAT IS NOT A FEELING!

Emotions have the following parts: subjective feelings, physiological (body) responses, and expressive behaviour. If fat was a feeling it would have some kind of expressive behaviour.  Think about this: if you had to act out the feeling/emotion of sadness it would be easy.  You would maybe have some tears streaming down your face and your head down with an upside down smile. Now act out surprised: Eyes open, mouth open, eyebrows raised and hands to face. Now act out “fat”. All you may be able to do is puff out your cheeks or some other PHYSICAL interpretation/depiction of what being fat is but there is no emotion that is being expressed.  Be conscious of how you feel not how you look.  Looks are not everything!

When you Google: define: fat there is not one definition that includes a feeling or emotion.  So why do so many people say those words?  Am I suggesting that people should listen to this picture below instead?

No! The above picture is also a horrendous outlook to life.  Pretty is not an emotion.  Fat is not an emotion.  People really need to take a step back and realize that how they feel does not need to be directly related to how they think they look.  All “skinny” girls do not have awesome lives; likewise all “pretty” girls do not have perfect lives.  There is no guarantee that being thin or being gorgeous translates into happiness.  Instead of uttering the words “I feel fat”, I would like you to accurately assess your feelings because only then can you address the problem.  The problem is not your weight or your health, the problem is that you are possibly unhappy.  You may feel sad or lonely or depressed that you have gained weight or think you look bigger than you normally do, but you cannot “feel fat”. 

Too many people think that changing the way they look physically will change their lives and that they will become happier.  Do you really believe people who say: “I will be happy if only I had bigger breasts” actually become happy forever after surgery?  There will always be points in life when you feel that your body or face is not what you would want it to be, but it takes a change in attitude, not surgery to become truly happy.  I’m not saying I am opposed to surgery.  I’m saying that one should not depend on surgery or physical alterations to their body to change how they feel about themselves or to feel happier.  If you were truly overweight, your weight is not what leads you to be happy one minute and “feeling fat” the next.  Your weight is also not the root of your problem, just like the fact that credit cards and malls exist are not the root problem for a compulsive shopper.  The problem with “feeling fat” is the inner emotional state that the person is experiencing such as unhappiness, loneliness, anger, or depression; not the literal fatness.

I feel that it can only be a good thing when people begin to be conscious of the way they FEEL rather than directly relating how they feel to their LOOKS and physical appearance.  Next time, try not to “feel” a physical characteristic and actually state an emotion, you owe yourself that much!

6 things that irritate me RIGHT NOW.  They may not be your typical list of things as I covered a lot in my Rant

“Not a problem” - When I ask someone if they can help me find something at a store, or ask someone to do a favour for you and they respond with “not a problem”.  IT’S A YES OR NO QUESTION.  YES.  OR NO.  OF COURSE IT’S NOT A PROBLEM OTHERWISE DO YOU THINK I WOULD HAVE BEEN SO RUDE AS TO HAVE ASKED?  Responding with “not a problem” insinuates that it could have been perceived as a problem, therefore you think that I am that rude that I would have asked something of someone that would have inconvenienced them majorly.  Screw you.

“No offense” – So let me get this straight… if you’re saying “No offense” you know then that this could be taken the “wrong” way or hurt/irritate the person you’re saying it to and yet you STILL want to say it?  What kind of human being are you?  I hate when people say “no offense” after saying something completely rude and unbearable; don’t think that just by saying that you sound like a decent person because you still don’t sound like one and furthermore you are not and never will be a decent person.  Go lock yourself in a room.

Stupid Celebrities on Twitter – They’re rich, they’re famous and all they do every other day is “OMG I’M ALMOST AT 1 MILLION FOLLOWERS I LOVE YOU SO MUCH TELL UR FRIENDS TO FOLLOW ME HELP ME GET TO 1 MILLION!!”… (cough @KimKardashian cough) You are so lame?!!!!!!!!  If I was a celebrity, I would NEVER ever tell anyone to follow me wtf?  Weirdo celebs…

People who don’t leave messages- If you’re calling me, and you don’t call me very often (ie. daily basis), can you please TEXT or leave a voicemsg saying WHY you called.  I’m not saying I don’t want to hear from you, I’m probably delighted but it is a bit worrisome!  I do it if I’m calling someone who I don’t call very often.  It’s just the polite thing to do!  Shoot them a “hey just thought I’d call and see how you were doing its been a while!  call me when ur free :)”.  There, now was that very hard? 

Ipads – The name itself is irritating, and it’s super irritating to see all you ipad users on the skytrain playing your stupid annoying games. :( I want one :(  Apple comes out with amazing products that is for sure but the one thing I don’t like about their company is you have iNoia (fear that you should have waited one more generation before buying an Apple product).

WHEN MY PARENTS SPEAK A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE – ok I absolutely hate it when we’re all oot and aboot like at a restaurant or something and my parents speak in Punjabi or Malay in front of the waiter… I get so embarrassed because OBVIOUSLY the waiter knows we’re talking about him (or the shop keeper depending on where we are) and I kind of grin and blush and stand there awkwardly trying to not be so ethnic.  I wish my parents would just talk in a language that everyone can understand, or else wait till there is a better opportunity to say something.  The polite way would be just to TELL the waiter/shopkeeper to excuse you for a moment!  They will leave and then blab away all you want!