Personal Meltdown!
I’m having a personal melt down right now. Most of the time I don’t give a eff what someone thinks about me. Maybe I’ve just developed thick skin over the years or maybe it’s my obsession with women like Marilyn Monroe and Angelina Jolie or maybe it’s the fact that the amount of love that I receive for being myself has eclipsed any naysayers. I’ve opened myself up to the universe and received so much love in return!! Maybe it’s because I feel like people have talked so much crap about me that I’m just used to it. Maybe it’s because I think other people are idiots most of the time and I’m actually super cool.
Sometimes though, sometimes I feel like I am the most out there and weirdest chick ever. Maybe I’m giving myself too much importance but all of a sudden I’m sitting here with this gripping fear and realization that MAYBE MY PARENTS WERE RIGHT?!
WHO…WHO is going to marry a girl that is this out there, who secretly (or I guess not so secretly anymore) wants to be an actress and writes her thoughts out for the world to see on a blog and wants to put DANCING freaking VIDEOS of herself on Youtube and loves item numbers in Bollywood songs and would totally love to be in one because she doesn’t think it’s “dirty” and thinks people who thinks it’s dirty are dirty.? Who would want to be with a girl who wants to travel the world and work crazy amazing jobs that are fun because she doesn’t care about money , who wants to be able to get up and leave whenever she wants and live in 3 different countries, who wants to join politics and write and act and dance and host a food n travel tv show and become an Egyptologist and makeup artist? Who would want to be with a girl who thinks in lyrics and writes lyrics down on paper and wants to save the world while holding a designer bag, who buys Maclean’s, Times, Psychology Today magazines the same time she buys In Touch and Star because Kim Kardashian is on the cover and then takes notes while reading Elle and Vogue, who buys like a book a week from Kobo and Google’s images of Mumbai for fun? Who would want to be with a girl who feels bad for her teddy bears that don’t get regular hugs and makes sure to divvy them up fairly, who will put her family before anyone else, who actually likes alone time and goes to watch movies in the cinema alone, who shops in the toy section for herself while pretending it’s for her nieces, who cries when Italy doesn’t win the World Cup and eats Pringles like they’re going out of style? Who would want to be with a girl who is fiercely independent yet still wants to live with her in laws (and really I mean if I didn’t live with my in laws what would have been the bloody point of learning how to cook roti and every sabji and curry out there – today’s generation sure as heck wouldn’t appreciate my rotis and FYI I can’t make western food only indian and singaporean). Who would not get scared after checking out my blog? Who would marry a girl who wants someone to run with her not walk and who is so fiercely loyal that she had the same mp3 and camera for 6 years even though she works at an electronics store? Who planned out the rest of her life starting from gr.8 the first day she went to her best friends house and is still best friends with her and pretty much followed the plan lol. Who would want to marry a girl who has strong opinions and thinks for herself? Hmm…Wait a second I sound kinda cool actually (to myself anyways – and that’s all that really matters!)
Personal meltdown over. For all of you who no doubt get that gripping fear that you’re never going to find anyone (that everyone feels every once in a while…if you didn’t feel this way you probably wouldn’t be a very nice and compassionate individual) – Here’s some advice for you:
Goodnight boys and girls – wait for the one!! Oh and…If any asshole leaves or gives up on you, remember – they’re just an asshole! ;)
