C'est La Vie

Solitude

Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone.
For the sad old earth must borrow it's mirth,
But has trouble enough of its own.
Sing, and the hills will answer;
Sigh, it is lost on the air.
The echoes bound to a joyful sound,
But shrink from voicing care.
Rejoice, and men will seek you;
Grieve, and they turn and go.
They want full measure of all your pleasure,
But they do not need your woe.
Be glad, and your friends are many;
Be sad, and you lose them all.
There are none to decline your nectared wine,
But alone you must drink life's gall.
Feast, and your halls are crowded;
Fast, and the world goes by.
Succeed and give, and it helps you live,
But no man can help you die.
There is room in the halls of pleasure
For a long and lordly train,
But one by one we must all file on
Through the narrow aisles of pain.

Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Poem.  If you’re still reading I commend you…wow!  Most people immediately blank out, recoil or think of old folks and Shakespeare.  Listen up fuddy duddy’s… POETRY is everywhere – in Jay Z’s songs, Taylor Swift songs…every effing song but I just mentioned their names to try and connect with all audiences lol and we…all… love poetry.  Yes we do, we just don’t want it to be called a poem cuz it doesn’t sound cool.  These two poems below are freaking AWESOME.  If you don’t get how awesome this is you need to live a little more. 

I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You

I do not love you except because I love you;
I go from loving to not loving you,
From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.
I love you only because it's you the one I love;
I hate you deeply, and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
Is that I do not see you but love you blindly.
Maybe January light will consume
My heart with its cruel
Ray, stealing my key to true calm.
In this part of the story I am the one who
Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,
Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.

Pablo Neruda

If You Forget Me

I want you to know
one thing.
You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.
Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.
If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.
If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.
But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.

Pablo Neruda

I’m sitting there, minding my own business and these people I don’t know strike up a conversation beside me and try to include me in their conversation about whores.  Well actually it was about actresses and how they’re all whores, drug addicts, sleep with people to make it, are only pretty with tons of makeup on, how cinema was better back in the day, etc etc.  I’m SO SICK of hearing people talk about stuff without knowing what they’re talking about.

I can’t stand people who hate on Bollywood/Hollywood or actors and actresses and then pay 10 bucks to watch their movies.  This really really bugs me.  You have people who pay for and enjoy watching movies and then turn around and call the people in the movie whores?? 

Like these people who were talking about them (in my opening paragraph) knew everything about every actress “Priyanka chopra this, Katrina Kaif that”.. if they’re so beneath you and you think that actors are low class (actually what they said! ) then why do you know everything about them?  Hypocrites!

The line above loosely translates to: Your eyes are unclean and yet you want me to be the one to cover up? (essentially saying that since you’re the effed up one you should fix your dirty gaze rather than making other people cover up).  *note** I have nothing against burqa’s and support and respect every women’s right to wear whatever clothing they wish to wear out of their own free will**

• Singers and actresses– they’re in an industry where they have to look good to get people to like them because people are superficial and expect them to look perfect at every moment – if they didn’t show skin or look sexy they wouldn’t attract as many fans and wouldn’t bag as many roles.  It’s the nature of the business.  I’m sure many would love it (those who have talent) if they could just focus on their art and on acting but movies are a business – you will only get hired if people want to see you and there is a demand for you and if the producers think that you being in the movie will sell tickets.

• “All of these actresses slept with someone to make it”.  If EVERYONE could just become a movie star by sleeping with someone, everyone would be movie stars!  Why would women bother being prostitutes or hookers or strippers working at seedy places when all you apparently need to do is spread your legs?  Some people may have gotten a start by being on their backs but I give credit where credit is due – no one forces the audience to like someone.  If an actress is working, is being booked, has fans, it’s not because she slept with someone – it’s because she was liked – the audience wants to see her in more movies – if they didn’t, she would have stopped being booked no matter who she slept with.  If sleeping with someone is all it took to be a star – everyone would be a star.  Think of Marilyn Monroe – she was one of many people who slept with someone to get a role but that is not why we know her name today, we know her name because there was something about HER, or else her contemporaries would be just as famous, and they’re not (other than Elizabeth Taylor).

• “Every one of them is ugly without makeup”.  Who isn’t better looking with makeup on?  This is just pure silliness.

My favorite stupid comment that people say: “Indian cinema was so much better back in the day, back when they weren’t whores and had some decency and you could sit and watch movies with your family.”  What “day” are these people talking about?  The 50’s?  Those people are truly only talking about one decade or part of one decade – the late 90’s and yet they attribute all of Indian cinema to be clean other than what’s happening now.  What we think is acceptable and clean now was not acceptable or clean in the 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s.  There has NEVER been a time not just in Bollywood but in Hollywood (in the past) when actors or actresses were considered respectable (well actually I don’t know about the 50s).  It’s really only in the last 20 years or so when the world has made celebrities among the higher echelon of society.  People always loved them sure– but no one wanted their daughter to be an actress.  There were a lot of people who looked at Marilyn or Rekha or Zeenat Aman or Mumtaz and thought that they weren’t proper role models for young women.  Madhuri Dixit thrusting her chest out and singing “Choli ke peeche kya hai” or “dhak dhak karne laga” was not considered by a lot of people to be acceptable or classy.  While we may see nothing wrong with it now and some yearn for those days, it did cause a scandal (really a national debate!) for a reason (it was always a hit though but of course – probably the same people saying it was dirty bought tickets to see the song multiple times). 

Popular actress Mumtaz wore a bikini in a movie (yeah that’s right looong before the Kareena’s, Bipasha’s Priyanka’s and Deepika’s did it)

Sharmila Tagore was one of the first actresses in Bollywood to wear a bikini in a magazine.

That bottom half of that bikini is PRETTY DAMN LOW.. and people were complaining about Sheila Ki Jawani?!  Get with the times!!!  Women getting drenched in their sari’s wasn’t “family fun time”.  It was blatant sexuality then and it is now.. people just choose to forget all of that because they’re nostalgic.  I’m not saying it was bad or anything but its ALWAYS been in cinema. 

Zeenat Aman

Parveen Bhabi

Zeenat and Parveen (shown above) are two examples of women who were known to wear revealing and sexy clothes, songs had sexual entendres then and now.  Lyrics like “hum tum ek kamrey mein band ho aur chabbi koh jaye” (you and I are locked in a room and the key is lost) was not sweet and innocent.  There were rumors of affairs and drugs back then as well as now.  People glorify the past, but there was vulgarity (if you will) then and now.  SURE we might have kissing scenes now but we had RAPE scenes before to titillate the audience. 

In the world of cinema there are always cycles, sometimes action films are in, sometimes romantic films are in, sometimes family drama’s are in.  The mid to late 90’s (think DDLJ, KKHH, HAHK) was when the younger brigade who had studied abroad and grown up with western influences (Karan Johar, Aditya Chopra) brought in sweet, family friendly films where the trendy urbane hero and heroine still had hearts of gold.   They knew that it would appeal to the then suddenly booming NRI population living n the US and England who wanted reminders of what they considered to be good about their home country (again with the nostalgia!).  Suddenly from the angry/macho men (Amitabh, Dharmendra for ex) we had sweet, fluffy chocolate boys like Aamir, Salman, Shah Rukh who built their empires on this “sweet momma’s boy” image.  Shah Rukh wasn’t signing them contracts for ad’s when he was pushing people off the roofs of buildings (Baazigar).. he signed them in his new avatar.. the “Raj” avatar.  Thus the cocoa puff era was born and it lasted for a while.. pretty much until the year 2000 when Hrithik Roshan brought macho back and made the rest of the actors look…their age.

SO THERE YOU HAVE IT – NEXT TIME YOU WANT TO SAY THAT HINDI MOVIES NOW HAVE KISSING SCENES AND ACTRESSES WEAR SUCH REVEALING CLOTHES - - REALIZE THAT IT IS NOTTTTT A NEW THING AND YOU’RE LIVING IN LA LA LAND.

K. That is all.

The artist is derisive, knows what they want, stands apart to observe the crowd, is self aware and passionate.  They don’t follow convention, they don’t allow others to occupy space in their head, they’re confident, they know that they have something special to offer and yet at the same time they’re insecure.  Artists are whores, they will allow themselves to be purchased but they know that it is necessary to sell their talent for perhaps lesser things so that they may use that money to do things that are truly worthy of their time and talent or to get to a point where they can show their talent to a larger audience.  They will sell themselves not for money, but to survive longer so that they may allow their art to flourish later.  They may be whores, but in today’s world everyone is a whore, everyone can be bought to a certain extent and at least they know that they, as artists, have a vision.  Worldly goods do not interest them as much as immortality does.

Artists are insecure because they know themselves in and out, they know their flaws, they know how to minimize the flaws and then when people buy into the finished project, they feel disappointed but vindicated.  They know the audience liked their product but they know how they put that product out, the almost accidental nature of it, the combination of their mastery and luck or is it luck.. are they actually better than someone else who wouldn’t be able to do it, they know the complete failure of the one that came before it, the flaws that were minimised, and perhaps the artist wonders had they allowed people to see his/her perceived flaws if the audience would have found it even more beautiful, or dismissed it.  That thought haunts them.

Everyone wants to be a winner, but what most people don’t seem to realize is that first you need to be a survivor.  Do you have what it takes to survive?  Can you claw your way back up when you’ve been pushed down farther than you ever thought you could?  Do you have the endurance, the stamina, the wits, the passion for your craft?

I know this much about myself: I may not be the smartest, the prettiest, the funniest, or the sexiest girl, but I am a survivor, I have ambition and I have guts.  I believe that those three things are all that I need.  I don’t know where I’m going, but I know I’m going somewhere.  I think largely the reason why I have this spirit is because of how I was raised.  I was the third child, and I was a girl (third daughter).  I think everyone wanted me to be a boy and as I grew up I wanted to be my father’s son and really admired my father very much and I still do.

He moved his whole family to Canada without even ever seeing this country.  We just packed up our stuff in Singapore and came here.  He didn’t need to come here to check it out first because he knew that no matter where he went, he would be ok and he would be able to provide for his family.  As my father said (in punjabi) that he had his hands and his legs, what more does a man need to survive?  That stuck with me.  Sometimes people look down on immigrants, or they look down on people who don’t have flashy jobs.  My father could have been a businessman, a taxi driver or janitor… I really wouldn’t care because whichever job it is, he’s worked honestly to provide for his family and no matter what has knocked him down or came his way he persevered.  That’s what counts.  Some girls I know are looking for the guy who has it all… I’m looking for the guy who would be ok if he lost it all, who has a fighter’s spirit, who doesn’t need to depend on anyone but himself, someone who is a honest, hard working man.

My father had the guts and the belief in himself to leave his relatives, his friends, leave the country that he was born and raised in to come to a country on the other side of the world so that we could have a better life.

He taught me how to be strong, he has a black belt in Karate and used to train me when I was younger.  We would go to the park by our house and run and I used to have to do push ups if I didn’t speak Punjabi or got my times tables wrong.  He read me stories about the Gurus, about Sri Guru Nanak Dev Ji’s travels and teachings and those really stuck with me and it’s why I’m close to my faith.  He taught me not to take shit from anyone, how to fight back.  He also taught me how to have fun, he has a great love for dancing and when he gets on the dance floor he is the center of the party!  He never once made me feel that I was a lesser human being because I was a girl.  He never once has forced me to do anything at all and he never would.  He has said that he would happily continue to support his daughters if we so chose to live at home forever.  He’s allowed me to do the many things that I do.  

Guts, ambition, survival skills.

That’s the kind of father that I have, now would you expect his daughter to be anything less?

I was sitting going through some old pictures when I realized… I have no real idea of who I used to be.  I do not fully remember what I used to be like, or how I used to think when I was younger.  I have no idea who that girl was.  If I met her on the street, her and I would probably have different views on a few different topics.  She’s lost to me forever. 

No, I’m not having a mid mid life crisis, I’m just trying to say that I or you can’t fully get back into the old “you’s” brain and think the way you used to think.  We can never really go back, every moment that happens changes us irrevocably.  I guess I just find it weird that not only do we not truly ever know how someone else feels or think, we don’t even really know ourselves.

Too often we go through life thinking that all we need is ourselves. All we need to do is trust in ourselves.  All we need to do is believe in ourselves.  All we need is to take care of ourselves.  This is all complete bullsh*t. 

The reality check is we need more than just ourselves.  We wouldn’t be alive today without being cared for by other human beings.  We’re nothing without other people, we wouldn’t exist without other people and we shouldn’t forget that fact as we grow older into our teens or early twenties.  “When an infant falls below the threshold of physical affection needed to stimulate the production of growth hormone and the immune system, his body starts shutting down." - - - we literally would die if we weren’t loved.  Maybe you can be conceived in a test tube and in the future from an artificial uterus, but there is no machine that would mimic a human’s love or touch.  Isn’t that strangely comforting?

How do you define yourself?  If I asked you – who are you?  Your response would be???… I am Sarah.  Or Jane or whoever – so by your name, right?  But who calls you by your name?… other people do.  Your own name doesn’t really belong to you does it, it’s just a way for OTHER people to identify you, so it really belongs to them.  Its for them to use.  You don’t write your name down on a piece of paper so that you know who you are, you write it down because someone else gave you that name and you need to identify yourself to whoever you’re handing the paper in to.

How do you know what you were like as a kid?  Because other people told you.  So that means that my first few years don’t belong to me – they belong to my family.  I don’t remember anything at all about who I used to be when I was 2 years old, or 5 years old for the most part.  Knowing that someone else knows something about you that you don’t know is so extremely cool.  Hearing that I used to walk before I crawled or that I used to draw squiggly lines over people’s faces in photo albums or when my sister tells me when we’re shopping for groceries during our trip to Singapore that I used to eat those cookies all the time when I was young makes me smile, and I would never have known those facts about my own self if it wasn’t for my family and people around me.  It’s that question - “if the tree falls in the woods and there was no one there to hear it does it make a sound?”… If I grew up with no one around to tell me who I used to be would I actually exist?  I’m not so sure I would. 

It’s odd to me to know that I don’t even know who I used to be.  It’s one thing to think that way about yourself as a child because no one has memories from when they’re 1 years old… but what about if you couldn’t remember who you were 3 years ago?  What about if you couldn’t remember what you thought like?  What if you couldn’t remember what it was like to feel the emotion that you knew you felt at that point of time?  What if you couldn’t remember what it was like when you fell in love with someone or something like painting or dancing?  How is it that we change so fast?

Is the you that you are now really the same you that you came into the world as?  Scientifically even – no.  You’re not the same you as you were when you were born, and you’re not even the same you that you were 8 years ago or yesterday.  From Stanford’s stem cell bio and regenerative medicine website it states: “Every one of us completely regenerates our own skin every 7 days. A cut heals itself and disappears in a week or two. Every single cell in our skeleton is replaced every 7 years.”

So every single cell in my skeleton has been replaced 3 times now.  That is so freaking weird!  I think for the most part, I exist because I have family, because they’ve told me initially who I was.  I am my father’s daughter, my mother’s daughter, my older sisters youngest sister.  Without people who love me in this world I don’t exist.  The tree wouldn’t make a sound if it fell.

So to all the people who think they’re all cool and thug life and “You’re born alone you die alone”… reality check.  It’s not really true, is it?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/If_a_tree_falls_in_a_forest

Read that.  Super interesting.

You better believe it!  When you think that you just can’t take it anymore, when everything isn’t going well for you, when you’ve missed the bus, lost your way, lost your job, lost your spouse, lost your bf/gf.. just remember this.  You are braver than you believe.  You are stronger than you seem.  You are smarter than you think.  You are twice as beautiful as you’d ever imagined.

You will survive and you will come out even stronger and more beautiful once you get through it.

I read a lot of magazines and there was this one article in Glamour May 2012’s issue that I thought was really cute.. I’ll proceed to share some of its wisdoms with you (I have altered some of it’s points/put it in my own words).

Ladies.  Never, ever do this in front of a male that you’re into or that’s into you.

See that guy above?  He’s soo into you.  And then you open your big mouth and say this:

1. “I hate my arms”  - whyy do you need to criticize yourself in front of him? DO NOT do that. You are a queen, you’re fabulous and this boy is lucky to have you.  Call your girlfriend up and hit the gym – don’t tell your man you hate your body (unless he’s a guy friend who is giving you fitness advice).
2. “Should I get implants” – YOU have boobs, HE does not.  Size should not and probably does not matter to him and suggesting that kind of suggests that he’s not loving your boobs as much as I’m sure he does.  That’s insulting.
3. “She looks like/is such a slut” – it’s not attractive to see you act like a mean person, just be confident in yourself and don’t waste time making mean comments about other women.  Cattyness is not cute.
4. “I’m sooo wasted” – Just like you are looking for someone who is stable and has their life together, so are men.  Maybe you like to let loose on the weekends…try not to brag about it.
5. “Hold on, lemme Facebook/Tweet this (and then proceed to take self portrait smoochy duck face shots)” – Keep the fb updating/tweeting to a minimum when with said desired man.

I really hope Miranda Kerr is wearing sunscreen! 

There are literally UV rays from everywhere.  It doesn’t matter if you have full sleeves on or if you’re sitting under a giant umbrella.  It doesn’t matter if it’s cloudy, if you’re sitting in your car, if you’re indoors or if you’re on the beach, if it’s winter or summer – you can seriously harm yourself if you do not not protect your skin from UV rays.  Remember, there are UV rays everywhere and they can bounce from the pavement to pretty little you sitting under your umbrella thinking you’re all protected.

Did you know that a two hour shopping spree in a store like Walmart with fluorescent lights everywhere is equivalent to a full hour in the sun?  Sure you won’t get sunburnt but you are still exposed to those UV rays!

Besides CANCER - UV rays and sun damage can also wreak havoc on your skin.  A ten dollar bottle of sunscreen now will save you hundreds in laser treatments later on in life.  I say this because people often don’t care that they could get cancer – they figure meh that will be when I’m old and gray, but I’d rather look tan and hot now!  Aargh.

To be properly covered from the sun you HAVE to cover your skin with enough sun screen (think frosting on a cupcake) and make sure that you REAPPLY every 2-3 hours.  The amount of sunscreen you should be applying (everywhere – including your neck, backs of ears, hands, face etc) is quite simple if you think of yourself as a cake and the sunscreen as frosting - - a nice thick layer of sunscreen.  That does NOT mean a quarter sized amount for one arm.  Don’t cheap out – layer it on.  If you have a moisturizer that has sun screen of SPF 15 that’s great, but still make sure that you wear a sunscreen with a higher spf AS WELL as your moisturizer.

The sun can damage your skin in many ways:

1. Sun spots, freckles and brown spots

2. Uneven skin colour

3. Freckles

4. Age Spots

5. Rosacea

6. Wrinkles

7. Broken capillaries

8. Enlarged pore size

9. Sagging skin

This is not pretty:

Ok dammit it is but this look can be achieved through spray tanning or instant bronzers that are available in cans – not tanning beds.  THIS is not pretty:

Do you really want your boobs and neck to look like this?

Squamous cell carcinoma – a skin cancer:

This is a cutaneous horn.  Yes that’s right, a horn growing out of the side of your friggin face.  It’s not pretty.  It’s not cancer but it can also lead to cancer.

  It’s from a condition called Actinic Keratosis and is most common in people with:

• Fair skin.
• Hair color is naturally blond or red.
• Eyes are naturally blue, green, or hazel.
• Skin freckles or burns when in the sun. 

Lifted straight off a website:

What causes AKs?

Ultraviolet (UV) rays cause AKs. Most people get exposed to UV rays from being outside during the day or using tanning beds. You can prevent AKs by protecting your skin from the sun and never using tanning beds or sun lamps.

Listen y’all.  I’m all for accepting people on Facebook something I’ve mentioned before multiple times and I’ve explained my reasons for doing so but when someone posts something a little rude/insulting/off color I do notice.  I may not say anything at first because everyone has the right to their own opinion but when I notice them do it multiple times for no reason other than to hate on me with no provocation I will block/un friend them.  It’s especially unnerving though when I click on their page and I see nothing other than a few other friend’s, no profile picture of themselves...  it’s just creepy.  But yes, I will not tolerate rudeness or trolling (passive aggressive bs!!! The amount of passive aggressive people in this world my goodness!!!) on my OWN freaking Facebook page or Twitter.  Why would I want negative energy on my own wall?  I try to stay away from negative people not because I want to live in a dream world – I’m very aware of my own shortcomings – but if I do need to hear straight talk and negative things about myself I’ll listen to it from my friends and people who I actually care about because their words mean something to me.  So to all the people who want to stir up drama and hatred and who want to troll and expect me to react by mouthing them off – I won’t.  BECAUSE:

So there you have it.  There’s always drama around and people trying to suck your blood.  I won’t let em!!!  Woohoo :D  Have a great day guys.

I think in song lyrics a lot – NOT MY OWN I’m not a lyricist I just REMEMBER song lyrics. 

I carry a notepad with me where I write down song lyrics that are playing in my head (it’s kind of like a diary but written in song.. if I read it I know what I was feeling at that time.. or sometimes it’s just simply a song stuck in my head that has no rhyme or reason for being in my head). 

Sometimes in my notepad I just write whatever happens to strike my fancy – could be something that I want to Google later or something that I want to blog about, or anything really.  I’m going through my notebook right now and I thought I would just share some of the lyrics that have been in my head lately.  If you like lyrics read on!!!  If not I’ll hopefully see you in another post lol.  So these were scribbled in my notebook…  If you want to HEAR me say the lines below PLUS translation please click this (it might be easier to understand): http://www.filedropper.com/vn-20120315-00045

**************************************************

Eh ajnabi tu bhi kabhi avaaz dey kahin se.  Main yahan tukhro mein jee rahan hu, tu kahi tukhron mein jee rahi hai.  Roz roz resham si hawan aathey jaathey kehti hai bata
resham si hawa kehti hai bata,
vo jo doodh duli masoom kali voh hai kahan kahan hai? voh roshni kahan hai vo jaan si kahan hai main adhoora tu adhoori jee rahin hai THIS JUST GOES TO SHOW THOSE IDIOTS THAT SAY HINDI MOVIE SONGS ARE BS – If you understand the words and the language man they are freaking amazinggg poems.  Some of the most talented lyricists everrr.

“Paas rehkey bhi thi doori (when you were close you were still far), jaaney kaisi thi majboori? (wonder what kind/why there was that problem/circumstance)  Vakht voh bhi ajeeb tha (that time was strange), jab tu mere kareeb tha (when you were close to me).”  To which the guy says “Koh gayi tu ye kis jahan mein? (where have you gotten lost in this world?) main yahan hoon dekh toh zara (I’m right here, just look!)”

“Beedh mein bhi thi tanhayi (Even in a crowd I felt lonesome), yaad har pal teri ayi (I thought of you all the time), rokhey koi mujhey zara (Someone stop me), bhar na aye ye dil mera (my heart just might overflow/fill up)” - - -

Kothey tey charkey vekh di ni maiye koi vekh di veerey da rah.  Dooron te vekha mera veer vi aye mere aya saah vich saah

Tum paas aye yoon muskaraiyen tum ne na jaane kya sapne dikhaye.. kya karoon hai kuch kuch hota hai ;)

Rom rom tera naam pukarey… hum se hum hi chin gaye jab se dekhein nain tiharey

Beliya kya hua jo dil koh gaya?  Mahiyan ishq mein Khuda mil gaya.

Mainey tujhse mohabbat ki hai, ghulami nahin ki balma.

Tujh pe shuru hui tujh pe hi khatm ho duniya meri duniya, duniya meri, jo bhaath dil mein thi, naino ne boldi, main hoon teri main hoon.. main hoon teri.  Tujhko hi yaad karkey ahey baroon mein, mil ke bhi mil na paoon ab kya karoon main?  Mil ke bhi mil na paoon, ab kya karoon mein?

Chaaha tha maine, socha tha mainey, kya kya the armaan dil nadaan ke.  Akhon mein asoo ayi par koi na aya, ab tu kisi ko bhi apna key hai bulaana.

In terms of fashion, at the end of the day – you should do whatever you want BUT, that being said this is a really good quote by Edith Head (something the “rule of a lady” people forgot to mention!!).  Edith is an 8 time Academy Award winner for costume design and designed for some of the most beautiful women in the world – Elizabeth Taylor, Audrey Hepburn, Katherine Hepburn, Grace Kelly and Sophia Loren.. just to name a few.

She really hits it on the nail with this…  I’ll be the first to admit that when I was younger I could have cared less about being a lady!  I was a geek for so long with a flat bum and no boobs that when I got some (a little) I was just like WOOHOO!  If I’m going clubbing or something I’ll wear whatever I feel good in but otherwise I think this is a great rule to have in mind when picking out an outfit.  Tight enough to show you’re a woman, loose enough to show you’re a lady.  DONE!

I’m having a personal melt down right now.  Most of the time I don’t give a eff what someone thinks about me.  Maybe I’ve just developed thick skin over the years or maybe it’s my obsession with women like Marilyn Monroe and Angelina Jolie or maybe it’s the fact that the amount of love that I receive for being myself has eclipsed any naysayers.  I’ve opened myself up to the universe and received so much love in return!!  Maybe it’s because I feel like people have talked so much crap about me that I’m just used to it.  Maybe it’s because I think other people are idiots most of the time and I’m actually super cool.

Sometimes though, sometimes I feel like I am the most out there and weirdest chick ever.  Maybe I’m giving myself too much importance but all of a sudden I’m sitting here with this gripping fear and realization that MAYBE MY PARENTS WERE RIGHT?!

WHO…WHO is going to marry a girl that is this out there, who secretly (or I guess not so secretly anymore) wants to be an actress and writes her thoughts out for the world to see on a blog and wants to put DANCING freaking VIDEOS of herself on Youtube and loves item numbers in Bollywood songs and would totally love to be in one because she doesn’t think it’s “dirty” and thinks people who thinks it’s dirty are dirty.?  Who would want to be with a girl who wants to travel the world and work crazy amazing jobs that are fun because she doesn’t care about money , who wants to be able to get up and leave whenever she wants and live in 3 different countries, who wants to join politics and write and act and dance and host a food n travel tv show and become an Egyptologist and makeup artist?  Who would want to be with a girl who thinks in lyrics and writes lyrics down on paper and wants to save the world while holding a designer bag, who buys Maclean’s, Times, Psychology Today magazines the same time she buys In Touch and Star because Kim Kardashian is on the cover and then takes notes while reading Elle and Vogue, who buys like a book a week from Kobo and Google’s images of Mumbai for fun?  Who would want to be with a girl who feels bad for her teddy bears that don’t get regular hugs and makes sure to divvy them up fairly, who will put her family before anyone else, who actually likes alone time and goes to watch movies in the cinema alone, who shops in the toy section for herself while pretending it’s for her nieces, who cries when Italy doesn’t win the World Cup and eats Pringles like they’re going out of style?  Who would want to be with a girl who is fiercely independent  yet still wants to live with her in laws (and really I mean if I didn’t live with my in laws what would have been the bloody point of learning how to cook roti and every sabji and curry out there – today’s generation sure as heck wouldn’t appreciate my rotis and FYI I can’t make western food only indian and singaporean).  Who would not get scared after checking out my blog? Who would marry a girl who wants someone to run with her not walk and who is so fiercely loyal that she had the same mp3 and camera for 6 years even though she works at an electronics store?  Who  planned out the rest of her life starting from gr.8 the first day she went to her best friends house and is still best friends with her and pretty much followed the plan lol.  Who would want to marry a girl who has strong opinions and thinks for herself?  Hmm…Wait a second I sound kinda cool actually (to myself anyways – and that’s all that really matters!)

Personal meltdown over.  For all of you who no doubt get that gripping fear that you’re never going to find anyone (that everyone feels every once in a while…if you didn’t feel this way you probably wouldn’t be a very nice and compassionate individual) – Here’s some advice for you:

Goodnight boys and girls – wait for the one!!  Oh and…If any asshole leaves or gives up on you, remember – they’re just an asshole! ;)