C'est La Vie

Michael Jackson to me was the greatest performer ever, and the most famous human being on the planet.  I honestly believe that I could go up to most people in the world, and either do a moonwalk or play his song or say his name, and people would know exactly who I am talking about.  That’s saying something.  He united the world, he made history, he was a creative genius, and I believe he made the world a better place.
I wasn’t home when I got a text message saying: “Michael Jackson is dead”.  I immediately called my house and said, “PUT ON CNN NOW!  I GOT A TEXT MESSAGE SAYING MICHAEL JACKSON IS DEAD!”.  My mother was shocked and quickly put on CNN and started reading out the headlines.  As soon as she said Michael’s name, I knew it was true and I hung up the phone.  I said to the girls around me (I didn’t know them) “do you know Michael Jackson died?”.  I just felt the need to tell the world and get a reaction that would mirror mine.  I needed to see that other people cared as much as I did and I needed to feel that it was real.  I left the store in shock, tears instantly welling in my eyes.  I was supposed to go to a night class but there was no way that I could go after hearing the news.  Michael was my idol…it was like hearing that an old friend had passed away…someone that I had thought was always going to be around but hadn’t really contacted every day because…I thought he was always going to be there!!!  I mean, I didn’t think about him a whole lot except when I’d hear his song or reminisce or see something on the news.  It was so shocking and I needed to go home to be surrounded by my family because they too cared about Michael, and I wanted to watch the news to make sense of what had just occurred.  My sister called me to see how I had found out and to tell me that CNN hadn’t confirmed it yet, and she asked me where I was.  I said I was on my way home, and she said, “don’t you have school?”, I said yes but there was no way I was going now (voice breaking because I was seriously choked up). 
On the way home I just felt like shaking everyone… how could everyone just be walking around.. do they NOT KNOW that MICHAEL JACKSON DIED?!  I called a few friends and texted a few people, but it didn’t seem like anyone really cared that much.  I felt kind of silly for a few moments about the fact that I was so emotional and so sad about someone that I had never met, but then I thought, you know what, screw that!  This man influenced and touched my life, and it doesn’t matter whether I met him or whether I knew him personally.  He gave me so much… I can’t even BEGIN to describe how much he’s contributed to my life and of course I am going to be sad that he’s gone, I freaking loved the guy!  So, I cried on and off my way home, trying to control myself and walked into the house.  My sister was still in denial, “no one from the hospital has said anything yet”, but I knew it was real because the L.A coroner had confirmed the news to CNN.  I just couldn’t believe it.  I’ve met many celebrities in my life, and you know how in t.v you see people freaking out and crying and fainting?  For all the other celebrities that I’ve seen, I’ve never come close to that state, but I knew that if I ever saw Michael… I would totally be one of those people crying and shaking lol.  He was just.. the biggest and the best.  No one can ever come close to him.  As for his controversies:
I think the world bullied him, and I don’t think he deserved it. 

• Let’s start with his skin.  I believe that he did have a skin disease called vitiligo.  Whether he bleached the rest of his skin to even it out, or whether he hid the patches under his long sleeved tops and pants while it evened out naturally, I am not sure, but I do believe he had the disease.  Therefore, I think there is NO reason for the media and the rest of the world to have teased or taunted him about his change in skin tone. 
• Regarding his plastic surgery: Everyone gets plastic surgery nowadays.  Back when he got his nose job, plastic surgeons used to almost give a brand new nose to patients rather than just slightly modifying the nose that the patient had.  Plastic surgery has evolved now so that it is more natural looking than it was when it first came out.  So what if he wanted to change his appearance?  Of course he wanted to, he lived a completely abnormal lifestyle and was part of a culture where looks were everything.  He lived at a time when there were no other mainstream black artists to look up to.  His goal was to be recognized and loved by everyone, and I’m sure he felt that making his features more racially ambiguous would help him achieve that.  Celebrities all over the world take these kinds of measures and more to ensure success.  Not to mention the emotional abuse he suffered from his father, and being called “big nosed” while growing up.  I repeat: most celebrities do plastic surgery now.  It’s not a big deal that he got it done, and a lot of people feel the need to do more and more procedures.  It’s normal to feel that way (kind of like when you start redecorating your room…you think hmm a little bit of something here, a little bit there…).  It’s not his fault that his surgeries just got majorly messed up (his nose pretty much crumbled.) 
• Reports about him buying the Elephant man, sleeping in a hyperbolic chamber and owning a pet chimpanzee named Bubbles were also fodder for people to continue bullying him and calling him “Wacko Jacko”, a term that Michael was really hurt by.  What gave people the right to torment him like that?  First of all, it’s seriously cool that he had a pet chimpanzee.  As one of my friend’s put it, its not like he was friends with a toilet paper roll or something (which would certainly be “wacko” or psycho).  He had a CHIMPANZEE… some people have tigers, for crying out loud!  N what, people like Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears etc. are allowed to shave their head in public, get physical with the paparazzi, show their private parts to the world, overdose/pass out unconscious in public, go to rehab then say they’re sober then go to rehab and say they’re sober again, get arrested for drinking and driving, have illegitimate children, showcase their newly married life on tv, wear vials of blood around their neck, cut themselves, adopt children from all over the world (including places that don’t have proper adoption laws), accidentally on purpose leak sex tape videos and pictures, physically abuse and bite their girlfriends, bite people’s ears off and do GOD KNOWS what else because the list definitely goes on.. and poor Michael can’t spread one little stinking rumour that he sleeps in a hyperbolic chamber to get some publicity without being completely crucified for it?!  Britney Spears can drive who knows how many miles an hour with a baby in her front lap, and Kate can have her kids videotaped all the time and not lead a normal lifestyle but Michael can’t make his kids cover their face so they don’t end up super duper famous like him?
• His “fake” marriages that he was made so much fun of… he was married to Lisa Marie Presley for almost 2 years.  That’s like ten years in celebrity land.  N really, all I have to say is… Heidi and Spencer anyone?  There are tons of fake/rush/stupid marriages happening every other day in Hollywood… once again, he did not deserve to be made that much fun of.  Just because he was super famous…the higher you get, the harder you fall.
• Child molestation charges.  One settled out of court, and the other… he was acquitted.  I just feel that everyone used this as an excuse and justified all the other horrible stuff they were saying about him already.  R. Kelly had child molestation charges.. I don’t hear tons of bad stuff being said about him.  Heck, Hugh Hefner is probably the biggest, most famous child molester on the planet (I joke, I joke) and no one says much about him!  People think he’s the man!  (Which just goes to show that most people are sick individuals).  Anyway, my point is that no one knows if this is true or false.  The law said that he was innocent of the charges brought against him.  I’ll let God be the judge.  My only thing is that… he was already so heavily criticized and made fun of for every other thing that he did.  He was for a long time, a walking joke for everyone (not me and I’m sure not for his true fans but for everyone else).  They just used his child molestation accusations to make their own selves feel better about being so mean to such a sweet individual.

Anyway, now that I’ve cleared up how I felt about his controversies, etc, I can move on and talk about the rest!  It sucks that I even had to talk about it, and it sucks that it became such a huge part of his identity and his life.
I remember when he came to Singapore for a concert.  I so badly wanted to go but I was around 4 years old and my parents wouldn’t let me but my sisters went.  I thought I looked like Michael Jackson at the time because I had really curly hair, and I would put one curl down the middle of my forehead, like him.  I thought it was the coolest thing ever.  I remember being so sad on the day of the concert, but then I wore my Michael Jackson t-shirt, put on his cd and did a mini concert for my mom and dad instead!  I had two t-shirts of his and I wore them alll the time.  I remember trying to learn the moonwalk.  I remember wanting to be friends with Michael and Macaulay Culkin.  I remember watching the 30th anniversary special that they had on t.v and I got so super excited that I was cheering and crying as he danced and at the end of the concert…as if I was actually in the concert rather than watching it at home!  I was so jealous of the people in the concert that they showed briefly (especially the little kids… I was like DO THEY EVEN KNOW ANYTHING!).  Lots and lots more memories, and I don’t really feel like sharing them all because it would kind of kill the magic... it’s too hard to explain how I felt about him. 
He was the most amazing dancer and I really loved his voice, he revolutionized music and pop culture.  The way he did every little thing… everything was so unique, so Michael!  If you watch his performances, like every little thing was so carefully thought out and set to his high standards.  His clothes… if someone dresses in an outfit that he had worn…everyone would know instantly that you’re dressed as Michael Jackson.  You can’t say the same for most people nowadays.  He was honestly talented, not like people nowadays.  Not very many people knew that he actually had a great sense of humour.  There was this singer who parodied him… Michael loved it and thought it was hilarious… but there was one song that Michael said not to touch and that was Black or White.  He thought that the content of that song dealt with an issue that shouldn’t be trivialized.  (for ex some of the other songs that were parodied: Beat it became Eat it.)

I think one of the saddest things is that, his life was so tragic.  I honestly think he is the victim of the biggest and worst case of bullying/emotional abuse ever, and that the world was just really not very fair to him at all.  He definitely paid the price for being famous and successful.  When I watch his old interviews (ex. the one with Barbara Walters), I just get SO sad.  I really hope he finally gets the peace and happiness that he deserves. 
Michael… I love you, you pretty much defined a huge portion of my life.  You impacted it in ways you will never know.  I hope you knew that you had so many fans that still loved you.  I really hope you knew that.  I’m glad that at least you got to see that your concerts sold out!  I’m crying as I write this…oh goodness.  I just will really miss you.  Your music will live on forever, as will you, through your music and through the legacy that you left behind.  Four days since you’ve been gone.  The day you passed away was horrible, but the next day was even worse… I woke up and I was like.. omg..it was real..and then I grabbed my laptop, went on the computer, saw a performance (singing Man in the Mirror) and just cried and cried.  There really will NEVER be anyone like you.  K…too sad now.  Time to stop writing.  I’ll sign off with a few quotes from interviews that Michael has done.  Some of them just make me feel so sad.
On Immortality:

I always want to do music that will influence and inspire people...each generation. I mean I, well, let's face it, who want's mortality?  I mean everyday you want immortality, you want what you create to live, be it a sculpture or painting or music, composition... Like Michaelangelo said, you know, I know the creator will go but his work surivives, that is why to escape death I attempt to bind my soul to my work.  That's how I feel I give my all whenever because I want to just live and just give all that I have you know?

On Friendships:

I get afraid of, well I don't know people, I get afraid of people sometimes.  There's a whole 'nother life that, I haven't really experienced that, like friendship is a thing I miss beginning to learn about.  I was raised on the stage and that's where I'm comfortable and everything else is like foreign to me.  I'm just beginning to learn about people, friendship, things like that.

On “Wacko Jacko” and the media:

You should not say he's an animal, you should not say he's Jacko.  I'm not Jacko... I'm Jackson. (…) Wacko Jacko where does that come from?  Some English tabloid.  I have a heart and I have feelings, I feel that when you do that to me.  It's not nice, don't do it.  I'm not a wacko.

On his son:

Maybe I don't want to show him to the world like that?  I want him to have some space where he can go to school.  I don't want him to be called Wacko Jacko, they called the father that... that isn't nice, right? (...) Did they ever think I would have a child one day, that I have a heart?  It's hurting my heart, why pass it on to him?

When asked if he would let his son go on stage if his son wanted to perform he said:

(Laughter and slaps knee) Hold on now, hold on, if you do go that way, expect this expect that expect this expect that.. id lay it all you're gonna get all this and all this and all this you ready to do that?.. "yea I can't wait".. Go!... and do it BETTER than I did it.

- Michael Jackson ~^*08-29-1958 to 06-25-2009*^~