My Grandmother
I really love her so much, and I respect and admire her. She has quiet strength, and she is undoubtedly the purest, kindest, most good hearted person I know. She’s simple, she’s pure, she’s patient, loving, caring, and so wise. Oh and she’s SO CUTE!
As a child and just as a person in general, I’ve always liked and enjoyed hanging out with males (my cousin bro’s in law or my male cousins, nephews, friends), although it’s always my female crew that I have deep conversations with. It was the same with my Grandfather… he had such a huge personality.. huge (!!) and for me growing up he always overshadowed my love for my grandma (I call her Manji, she is my mother’s mom) and I always enjoyed his attention more. It’s one of those situations where kids jump for joy when their Dad comes home or enjoys their days out with their fathers because… their mom is always there. That’s how it was with my Grandmother.. I know she’s always there and so for me growing up she was kind of the second one in their relationship.. she was the one I would go to if I got hurt or sick, but it was my Grandfather that I would sit beside to listen to his stories and hear his voice.
When my Grandfather passed away (wait – side note – my dad’s parents: I never met my grandfather and my grandmother passed away when I was five years old and I loved her v. much as well), I regretted not calling him enough, not spending time with him enough, and till this day I’m not over his death and wish that I could have properly said goodbye to him. Now that he’s gone, my Grandmother is the only grandparent I have left in this world. I’ve gotten to know HER more, and paid more attention to her. I’m not saying I ignored her before or that I didn’t love her before…nothing like that at all… I just loved her like any kid loves her mom.. in the taken for granted kind of way.
I’ve never sent her flowers (but I will change that this coming year!!!!!), I only recently bought her the first present I’ve ever bought her (a shawl!) (to be fair I was a kid most of the time and since 2000 I’ve only seen her…this year – 2009 because I went to Singapore twice this year!).
She was born in India but moved to Singapore (which was known as Malaysia at the time – it was before it’s independence) when she was around 2-3 years old. She married my Grandfather and had 6 kids; two boys and four girls (one of my aunts is missing in the picture below). She now has 11 grandchildren and I am her fourth oldest grandchild.
Bapuji (my grandfather) was a pretty strict, tough guy when he was younger although by the time I rolled along he was chilled out and jolly for the most part but I could still see and hear the fierceness. He had that quality about him. Manji was a sharp contrast. I heard she could be fairly strict herself, but to me she was always the water to his fire..essential, yet not loud and crackling. Manji taught her children (well my mom – the oldest child for sure) how to speak English (they spoke Punjabi when they were little and did go to English speaking schools when they were older). The best part is? My grandma didn’t even know English!!! My mom used to think that my grandma knew English but didn’t realize that actually my grandmother would get her English speaking neighbour to teach her the words in an English book and then my grandma would memorize it and teach it to her kids. My mom guys never knew that Grandma actually didn’t know how to read it herself. In the end that is how my Grandmother learnt an entire language, through memorization and being able to pick it up fast. That’s pretty cool.
Manji I don’t think has ever used makeup, maybe on her wedding day but there are no photos of the event, she’s never used a hair product before (her black hair at age 70 something is all natural!) and so I always feel super weird when I’m all glossed out and flat ironed in front of her especially because for most of my life that she saw I was makeup less with a curly mop of hair, or with it in a braid. She prefers to keep things simple and that’s why she is so inspiring to me. She loves God, she loves her family, she doesn’t gossip or trouble anyone… she’s just amazing.
When I went back to Singapore she told me that I have to wake up early and make my bed and not talk back to my parents lol :) I wish she stayed here in Canada and then I could get told what to do from her all the time! As it is I’m totally jealous of my newest cousin because he gets to live with her! So not fair, I want Manji to sing me songs (He’s 6months old)!.
Alright that’s all for now… if you take anything away from this.. talk to your loved ones, get to know your elders, and spend time with them! My only grandparent lives across the world from me and I don’t get to see her very often. Listen to them, listen to their stories, write them down if you get a chance! There’s a reason why they tell you what they do, they’ve been through a lot and you should appreciate what you have.
******* ADDED NOVEMBER 26TH 2010******
Hey everyone who is reading this. On November 18th 2009 I found out my grandmother had lung cancer. She has never smoked a cigarette (duh if you read the blog you should know this but just had to mention it) or anything like that, these things just happen I guess. She is still bravely battling it and all we can ask for at this point is to pray for her to not feel any pain and to be with family in her times of need. I would love to be with her more than anything at this time and hope I can make it out there... Thank you for all who read this, it makes me feel nice. I’m sorry for my crap writing in the blog I’m sure there are tons of grammatical errors…I just felt like I needed to confess that in case people think I’m some awesome person, I’m not (just in case you thought that… now you’re sitting there thinking psh why does this girl think anyone would think that?!). I could have shown my love for her more and I haven’t so yeah I’m not like some amazing grandaughter.
