C'est La Vie

One moment can change your life forever.  Life is so important, so fragile, so beautiful.  We never live each day to the fullest.. we never properly love the ones that mean the most to us.  Pointless fighting, bickering, not understanding each other.  It sucks that we can never fully understand our loved ones and their desires and hopes but we can try.  As for me…no one will ever understand how I feel right now. 

All I care about right now is my family, my parents, and making things easy for them.  My life right now has to be focused on that.  Nothing else… as much as I may want to travel or have fun or whatever, now is not the time for that.  Maybe when I’m older but right now I just have to focus on school, my family, and being the person they want me to be because I know why they want me to be that person.  Hopefully I have the strength to actually do it.

I just can’t believe everything that has happened.  I feel like such a different person.  I feel like other people are different too.  I’ve been affected by death before but nothing like this.  Hopes, dreams, love, family, innocence…

I look at old photos of my family and I just think wow.  Who knew what life had and has in store for all of us.  The smiles on my sisters’ faces, the innocence we all had breaks my heart.  It’s one reason why I am so attached to my old house.. it’s the house where we all grew up into adults…  My family would never have thought that we would live in Canada, I just never thought our lives would turn out like this, whatever this is.. but I know God has everything written and we may not understand it now but like I’ve said before.. when things don’t go according to our plan, that means that it is going according to God’s plan, and he always knows what to do and we just have to trust that and have faith.