C'est La Vie

It’s been almost 2 years since my First Blog Post and I just thought I’d recap on why I write.  I write because I have to.  It’s a necessity for me, I am constantly writing no matter where I go, whether it’s tweeting/updating my status/writing blog topics and memo’s to myself on my phone, or while I’m at work writing in my notebook there about my thought processes, or at home on my blog or one of my personal diaries - - I have to write.  It makes me a little crazy though I must admit because when you think in your head your thoughts process so fast that you don’t even see it, it’s like boom boom boom.  However, when you write, you see your thought process flow out before you and when you see how your mind goes from one thing to another, and when you analyze yourself that much, you wander a little from the sane group.  It also makes me a little crazy because there’s so much of me that I have to use different diaries to cover different things or I’ll lose my mind.  One diary has my deepest darkest thoughts and feelings, one diary is more for fun so that I can exercise my mind and play with words, one is for brainstorming…etc etc.  Why can’t I have it all in one?…  It’s because I need to purge myself, I need to quickly rip out my dark side and then shut that book so I can focus on something else for a bit.  Imagine if I just had my blog as my one sole diary, imagine how traumatized yall would be reading it!?  Lol I’m doing yall a favour trust me!
I write for myself… I write to chronicle my life and so that when I look back one month, one year or one decade from now I can see who I was at that point of time.  Twitter for me is more a diary than anything else and same with Facebook statuses.  Yes I write to engage in conversation with the world but I’d say mainly its for me to look back on and see where I was and where I’ve come.
A diary entry of mine might simply be a list of songs on my playlist, or a header saying “Cozy” with a list of things that make me feel cosy and eventually it forms into a psychoanalysis of myself.  So as I said though, I do write for myself, these blog posts - -I love that people can read them, that even one person may have smiled at a post of mine or felt any kind of emotion at something that I wrote; it’s an amazing feeling and it’s a reason why I share my posts to the world, but I also feel exposed.  I feel exposed because my posts are ME, they’re not generic posts on fashion or Bollywood or technology like most blogs are, they’re posts about ME and my thoughts and beliefs.  I feel like people who read this blog in its entirety will walk away knowing a fair slice of me (not a whole lot mind you but a good glimpse) and it’s scary to open yourself to judgement in that way.  I am glad that I didn’t center my blog around a certain theme though this is my blog and I write about anything and everything I want…why restrict myself?