C'est La Vie

I’m having a personal melt down right now.  Most of the time I don’t give a eff what someone thinks about me.  Maybe I’ve just developed thick skin over the years or maybe it’s my obsession with women like Marilyn Monroe and Angelina Jolie or maybe it’s the fact that the amount of love that I receive for being myself has eclipsed any naysayers.  I’ve opened myself up to the universe and received so much love in return!!  Maybe it’s because I feel like people have talked so much crap about me that I’m just used to it.  Maybe it’s because I think other people are idiots most of the time and I’m actually super cool.

Sometimes though, sometimes I feel like I am the most out there and weirdest chick ever.  Maybe I’m giving myself too much importance but all of a sudden I’m sitting here with this gripping fear and realization that MAYBE MY PARENTS WERE RIGHT?!

WHO…WHO is going to marry a girl that is this out there, who secretly (or I guess not so secretly anymore) wants to be an actress and writes her thoughts out for the world to see on a blog and wants to put DANCING freaking VIDEOS of herself on Youtube and loves item numbers in Bollywood songs and would totally love to be in one because she doesn’t think it’s “dirty” and thinks people who thinks it’s dirty are dirty.?  Who would want to be with a girl who wants to travel the world and work crazy amazing jobs that are fun because she doesn’t care about money , who wants to be able to get up and leave whenever she wants and live in 3 different countries, who wants to join politics and write and act and dance and host a food n travel tv show and become an Egyptologist and makeup artist?  Who would want to be with a girl who thinks in lyrics and writes lyrics down on paper and wants to save the world while holding a designer bag, who buys Maclean’s, Times, Psychology Today magazines the same time she buys In Touch and Star because Kim Kardashian is on the cover and then takes notes while reading Elle and Vogue, who buys like a book a week from Kobo and Google’s images of Mumbai for fun?  Who would want to be with a girl who feels bad for her teddy bears that don’t get regular hugs and makes sure to divvy them up fairly, who will put her family before anyone else, who actually likes alone time and goes to watch movies in the cinema alone, who shops in the toy section for herself while pretending it’s for her nieces, who cries when Italy doesn’t win the World Cup and eats Pringles like they’re going out of style?  Who would want to be with a girl who is fiercely independent  yet still wants to live with her in laws (and really I mean if I didn’t live with my in laws what would have been the bloody point of learning how to cook roti and every sabji and curry out there – today’s generation sure as heck wouldn’t appreciate my rotis and FYI I can’t make western food only indian and singaporean).  Who would not get scared after checking out my blog? Who would marry a girl who wants someone to run with her not walk and who is so fiercely loyal that she had the same mp3 and camera for 6 years even though she works at an electronics store?  Who  planned out the rest of her life starting from gr.8 the first day she went to her best friends house and is still best friends with her and pretty much followed the plan lol.  Who would want to marry a girl who has strong opinions and thinks for herself?  Hmm…Wait a second I sound kinda cool actually (to myself anyways – and that’s all that really matters!)

Personal meltdown over.  For all of you who no doubt get that gripping fear that you’re never going to find anyone (that everyone feels every once in a while…if you didn’t feel this way you probably wouldn’t be a very nice and compassionate individual) – Here’s some advice for you:

Goodnight boys and girls – wait for the one!!  Oh and…If any asshole leaves or gives up on you, remember – they’re just an asshole! ;)

Sexually liberated or persuaded by males into thinking this will make her attractive/liberated?
It’s all about your point of view isn’t it, but at least make sure your viewpoint is an educated one.  Those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.
My reason for writing this blog post is because I’m sick of people judging other people who don’t look like them.  I’m also sick of people not knowing anything about other people’s religion and Islam is one of the more misunderstood religions, although Sikhism is often thought to be an extremist, violent religion as well – I will keep this post on Islam.
Pocahontas said it best:

“You think the only people who are people
Are the people who look and think like you
But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger
You'll learn things you never knew you never knew”

Yeah that’s right I just quoted Pocahontas from a Disney movie and yes I know Disney is effing sexist and racist half the time but I LIKE THE SONG GODDAMIT. 
Look, I understand why so many western women think that women who wear a burqa or hijaab are repressed.  When they hear stories of women who are not allowed to leave their houses or work and simultaneously see images of women in a niqaab or burqa they automatically leap to the conclusion that it is the religion that is oppressive.  I don’t know how many times I’ve heard racist comments by people who I KNOW, people who would consider themselves NOT racist say racist things about Muslim people.  Are there many oppressed Muslim women in this world?  Yes!  Are they oppressed because of Islam?  No!  If you knew anything at all about the religion you would know this.
You think Canada or Vancouver is a place that isn’t very racist?  All you have to do is read news stories online and see the racist comments underneath and you’ll know the truth. 

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“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
― Maya Angelou

People will never forget how you made them feel.  This is what I want to do in life… I want to make people feel.  I want to be able to make as many people feel as I can.  If I can make someone feel something, then I have distracted them in that one moment from whatever is going on in their life and that one moment of their life is a gift to me… it would be mine and weaved into my tapestry, into my story and would connect me with them. 

I want to take your breath away, I want to make you laugh, I want to make you cry, I want to remind you of someone important in your life.  I want that one moment from you.

This is why I want to be an actor (and this is why since I’m not an actor right now – I write!). 

I’m jealous of Oprah!  Not because of the money (although I wouldn’t say no to a billion dollars…actually maybe I would… too much friggin money)… but because her job allowed her to make other people feel, every single day (and this is why I love Shah Rukh Khan…although mine and his story/love affair is a long story).  I’m jealous of Oprah because everyday when she was standing on her show she knew that that was exactly where she was supposed to be.  Not a lot of people can say that.  That’s a blessing. 

Have you ever watched the musical Burlesque?  In it, Christina Aguilera's character leaves her small town when she realizes that there is literally no one else in that town who’s life she would want.  There was no one there who inspired her enough to make her want to stay.  This is kind of how I feel about Vancouver.  There is NO ONE here whose life I would want, there is no one here, no career position that has inspired me enough to want to stay here and there is no position or job that I could create even to fulfill what I want.  I know what I want, and it’s just not here.  The only thing keeping me in Vancouver right now is my family – I can’t even say my friends because I know I would meet my friends if I moved anywhere else in the world but I can’t just pick up and relocate my family.

I’ve lived in Vancouver for over 15 years now and there came a point where I was overseas and was boarding my flight to come home to YVR and I was just like… what is the point?  What do I have there?  That moment was terrifying to me – that I could have lived somewhere for over a decade and feel that besides my family I have nothing really physically keeping me there.  It was… terrifying, sad, humbling.  It was kind of my “Eat pray love” moment except I couldn’t sell off all my things like her and travel the world with a book deal waiting for me because I have a FAMILY and I have RESPONSIBILITIES… but how I wish I could have!!

Living an uninspired life is a fate worse than death.  I hope I get to fulfill my dreams and I hope you do too!!!  Goodnight everyone.

There are some teachers who truly guide you and influence your life.  Mrs. Hillman was an amazing teacher, I had her as a teacher for two years.. for English 9 and English 10 Challenge/Advanced or whatever it was called (which turned out to be way easier than regular English haha seriously the BEST CLASS I’ve ever had… )

I was never a very memorable kid in school.  I was never the favoured teacher’s pet.  I’ve mentioned before on this blog I think… I was a pretty quiet, shy person for most of elementary and into junior high and I guess you could say I never really bloomed – late bloomer if you will.  Mrs. Hillman was the only teacher who ever actually bothered…she pushed me, cared, and encouraged me to pursue my dreams and saw something in me.  I know that she made countless other students feel the same way and that is why she was truly special.

I remember having some seriously intense conversations with her after school about life and books.  She treated you like an adult and not like an idiot junior high kid.  I remember I called her home phone number one day :$ lol yes I was clearly a weirdo but it was like before the days you could Facebook and email your teacher lol I had some kind of emergency or something…Anywho…  I remember how she told me after class that she was sticking me with this one person who rubbed everyone the wrong way because I was the only person who could control him lol, I remember dissecting books I had read that weren’t in our curriculum with her, she was even one of my references for job applications.  I actually still remember the comments that she gave me on my presentations, my writing (I still have my notes and her comments) and how she scarily knew what I was thinking/my personality.  Sometimes in elementary and junior high I used to think some of my teachers were dumb (like actually stupid I swear to you) and I knew that she knew what she was talking about and I really respected her.  English - reading and writing - was seriously the only thing I was good at and no one ever really gave me any compliments back in the day so her compliments to me and her comments always stuck with me and I truly valued them. 

Thank you Mrs Hillman for being the best teacher ever and you will be missed!! 

K so I HAVEN’T DANCED IN FOREVER!  It’s been um… a year maybe.  Dancing is my THANG.. I’ve been dancing since I was a little girl – mainly Bollywood stuff – copying my older sister who was copying Madhuri…so you could say I indirectly learnt from the great Madhuri Dixit herself haha.. then of course Aishwarya came along and whooo hooo I just kept on learning their songs and the only song of Hrithik’s that I learnt was Ek Pal Ka Jeena because every song after that he just… became a Prabhu Deva duplicate and that’s just way out of my league.

SO ANYWAY – I haven’t danced in forever.  Been too busy, been too…down and out.  I haven’t been able to attend my friend Shai’s classes as my schedule is just wack so I am doing it the old school way and going to learn some routines off the internet (Youtube is my friend).  I HOPE to post some videos up of me dancing soonish…like within the month hopefully!  If you haven’t already checked out my youtube page it’s http://www.youtube.com/user/queensharin#g/u

Ntn crazy, feel free to subscribe lol.  So the reason why I want to upload vids of me dancing is 1.) because it’ll be fun and 2.) I like to perform – dancing in my room and learning routines off of youtube videos is cool and all but I’ll probably put more effort into it if I know that people are watching me!  So just an fyi – I suck at choreography and I’m not the best dancer – I just like to do it…so everything I post will be like my attempt at someone else’s routine.

THE REASON WHY I TITLED THIS BLOG POST WHOA THEY’RE HOT:

They’re really quite good.. and I like that they actually have some MEAT on them:

I think belly dancers should have something to shake – there’s a famous belly dancer named Didem (youtube her) and she’s reallyyy good as well and hot as eff but I don’t quite enjoy it as much because she’s got this model thin body.  It’s great for bikini photoshoots but not so great for sensual belly dancing. 

Watchu think?  Fab or EW FLAB?

Why is it that death allows people to see someone for their true potential and WORTH?!?!?  It should start before someone dies!!

I’m sick of “kids” or young people in general being so cruel to other kids.  There are enough illnesses and accidents happening in the world without a parent needing their child to die because of a bully or out of jealousy.

It shouldn’t take DEATH for people to bond together.  We should ALWAYS be there as a community for each other, we should ALWAYS respect and recognize the potential and worth someone else has.  We should ALWAYS encourage each other and HELP each other.

I’m SICK of people talking sh*t behind people’s back, posting hate comments anonymously or posting stuff on websites about how people are “sluts”, “whores”, etc etc.

Murder is extreme, you completely take away someone’s life…like it’s WORTHLESS… but bullying and hating each other is the first step in throwing away someone’s worth!!!!!!!!!!! 

I’m disgusted at what my community has become.  ((By my community I mean people my age (all ethnicities)as well as Punjabi people from Vancouver/Surrey, and women))

All I know is that a majority of people who comment on how worthy someone was of living (after they have died) would probably have hated on that same person had they continued to live.  Think about it.  You know it’s true.

I’ve had so many friends who are simply trying to live their lives and try and make something of themselves and follow their dreams come up to me and tell me about all of these people who are hating on them and bringing them down.  If you’re from an ethnic minority, or you’re a WOMAN (which is a rare thing for some countries nowadays) please think twice before hating on someone else.  We get hated on enough as it is from the world… please don’t do it to each other.

Value human life, value each other, support each other, stop adding hits to stupid websites that serve no purpose other than to degrade and humiliate people, and just BE A BETTER PERSON!!!!

Just remember, you should ALWAYS defend someone who isn’t there to defend themselves!